Monochrome beat (boyxboy)✔

Beat 33

He was there with me. Maybe he shouldn't have been, but he was only centimeters away from me.

My lips found his, not needing to search because he wasn't hidden. Instead he was shrouded with electricity because the touch of his lips felt like I had been drowned in an electrical pool. I felt it ignite all my senses. It weaved its way under my skin, in my blood, in my joints, making me feel weak and yet so powerful.

Jax's lips moved slightly, but did not detach from mine. I found my hand on his neck, pulling him closer so I could grab his lower lip. I closed around him and he closed around me. At first I couldn't believe what was happening, forcing me to give his lower lip a little bite and sharp tug. It was as if I wanted to assure myself that no one had slipped some drug in the punch and I wasn't kissing a mannequin.

What resulted was the most delightful sound I had ever heard. Jax was moaning into the kiss. I could feel him melting against me, letting go of whatever inhibitions he had. Our lips scorched each other and our breaths became one.

My thumb trailed along his jaw as I took it all in. I was kissing Jax. Scratch that. Jax and I were kissing, in one of the most beautiful gardens I'd seen and the stars as our witnesses. This boy that I had bit by bit fallen for, his lips were against mine, kissing and sucking. The moment was too surreal.

Except, everything felt real. The heaviness of the air around us, cocooning us in a beautiful bubble; the warmth of his mouth; the tenderness of his jaw; the soft and delicateness of his lips...all these were real.

Even the idea of this kiss feeling like heaven wasn't too far-fetched. It had been so long since I'd kissed anyone, and I'd never had a kiss like that. It felt so pure and yet intense.

Jax released one more moan as my thumb trailed over the little piece of skin just behind his earlobe, and I kissed him even deeper, forgetting for a moment that he possessed delicate lips. He didn't mind, pulling me closer to him and matching his intensity with mine.

His lips were swollen and even fuller and just that in itself was turning me on. I pulled back slightly so I could caress his lips with mine, but truthfully it was because I had become starved for air. Having our lips entangled had had me spellbound, and even though we weren't separated, I couldn't wait to taste him again.

He didn't taste sweet. He didn't taste like the punch he'd drank earlier. It didn't really matter how he tasted because taste wasn't my strongest sense when I kissed him. My strongest sense wasn't a sense at all.

He tasted like joy, magic, passion, butterflies, an enchanting connection...heaven.

I wanted to do this every day. I could survive a day or two without it, and then I'd get so desperate I'd show up late at night at his house just so I could kiss him goodnight. He'd pretend he was annoyed, but he'd give in and allow our lonely lips to meet. The cravings would be satisfied. All would be well again. But then the cycle would...

Given the feelings I enjoyed with the kiss, I couldn't fall to miss the moment Jax's lips left mine. The spell was diminishing. I wasn't all that pleased, but breathers were necessary. I thought he was taking a breather, but I realized his lips were off mine altogether. They were a considerable distance from mine now.

He stood up abruptly.

"I uh...umm...I probably should have told you that I like you more...as more than a friend, but..." I said and didn't finish.

Jax bolted away from me. Without a word.

I was too stunned my reaction came out way too late. He'd disappeared into the banquet room. I couldn't see him anymore. To make matters worse, my leg started hurting. It took a considerable amount of time before I could get up and go into the room to look for Jax.

I didn't know what him bolting meant. Was the kiss terrible? If so, why wait a considerable amount of time before stopping it? He'd kissed me back, so the idea of kissing me couldn't be revolting. Was it my confession then?

I needed to find him so I could explain. I hadn't planned on telling him at all about how I felt, but after kissing him, it had to be done. I couldn't just kiss him and hope to leave it at that. I didn't want to leave it at that.

Lighter medium tempo music was playing in the room at that moment. Students were still dancing. I looked around for Jax, but I couldn't find him. Jasmine walked to me. I was about to ask her if she'd seen Jax when she started talking.

"Hey. Looks like we are now dateless. Eric said to tell you he's taken Jax home," she said.

"Huh?" I couldn't stop myself from saying.

"Eric took Jax home," she enunciated every word.

"Why?" I stupidly asked. I knew why. He was running away from me.

"Uh...I don't know. Jax came in here, asked to talk to Eric...and boom, they were gone," she said. "Wanna dance?"

I pointed at my missing leg, and not that she noticed, I pointed at the wrong one. "Did...?"

Jasmine cut in. "Eric said he'll be back. I can trust him, right?"

"Well we aren't walking home," I said.

"Let's enjoy the rest of the night then!" She said enthusiastically.

For me the night had ended. I retreated to a quiet corner to call Jax. His phone didn't even ring. It was clear he'd switched it off.

Just a few minutes ago we were kissing, and now he was gone. I was all alone, thinking of and analyzing what had transpired. I'd never planned on kissing Jax or telling him how I felt about him. I'd gone over reasons why I couldn't do any of those things, and they made sense. However, when I looked at him that night surrounded by the beauty of the garden, all the reasons didn't matter. I stupidly followed my heart.

I'd never really thought of how Jax would react if I kissed him because I never let my thoughts about us go that far, but his reaction during the moment surprised me. He'd kissed me back, hesitantly at first, but it disappeared after a few nanoseconds. He kissed me back like he wanted to, like he enjoyed it. Maybe I was blinded by how it felt, but nothing in the way he was kissing me gave any indication that he was about to run away from me.

Now he was gone.

Hey. Please text me when you see this. I need to talk to you, to explain.

My thumb hovered over the 'send' option, wondering if I was going about things the right way. Jax had run away from me without a word and his phone was off. It was clear he didn't want to talk. I couldn't force him to. What I had done and how he'd responded was sure to freak anyone out given the state of our relationship. He needed time to come to terms with it and think about it. I hated the idea of not being able to explain myself, but conceded that Jax needed time. I had to give it to him.

I pressed the backspace button.

O: Hey. I just want to make sure you're okay. Text me when you get this.

I stayed at the spot I was at for about 15 minutes before I spotted Eric walking towards me. I hadn't seen him enter the room. I stood up immediately.

"Hey, did Jasmine tell..." he said and I cut in.

"Yeah," I said nodding vigorously. "And um...how'd he...how's he..."

"Breathe," Eric said and though I rolled my eyes, I took a deep breath.

"He's fine. Well...I don't know. He's physically fine. He just came in, asked me to take him home, said he wasn't feeling good, didn't want to let you know... I dropped him off at his house," he said.

"Did he...say anything in the car?"

"Do directions and him thanking me count?" Eric said. "Lando, what happened?"

"Nothing!" I said quickly. "I think I'm ready to go home now."

Eric didn't believe me of course. He tried to get me to talk but eventually he gave up. We located Jasmine, who like me had had enough of prom. The drive home was mostly silent. Jax was on my mind. I looked at my phone often, but there was nothing from him. I was tempted to ask Eric to drive me to his house a couple of times that night, but managed to remind myself to give Jax the space he needed. Tomorrow was another day.

*