The cold water pours down me, relaxing my body in an instant. I feel myself humming a familiar song that brought back memories i didn't want to remember, but maybe half of me did want to remember. That day when Niall sneaked in through my window, i laugh at the thought. I step out of the shower, dressing myself in a pair of jeans and a grey sweater, and my black vans.
I'm meeting my new roomate soon and i want to look well presented. I climb on my car, starting it as it roared to life. I drive my way to the coffee shop, there wasn't much people inside which was good, so i could easily spot her, she said she's be wearing a blue shirt. I ordered myself a light caramel café, as i scribble lightly on my journal, someone told me that if i couldn't express my emotions, write it instead. For a year I've been writing everything on here, i could say this could be a book of my heavy past, the sounds around vanishes as i continued on writing every word that pops out from my head, my heart stops when the name 'Niall' comes out of it, i swallow hard.
"Skylar?" A familiar voice said. I would know who it belongs to, but i couldn't seem to remember. I look up to see Sam. Sam?! My eyes widened as i threw my arms around her, she returns the hug immediately as she giggles.
"Oh my god! What are you doing here?!" I ask her, after we pulled away. We sat across eachother as she ordered herself coffee and a blueberry muffin.
"I'm meeting up with this girl who placed up on this site that she needed a roomate." She beams, a smile spreads across my face and she instantly gets it.
"Well! No hesitations! I'm your roomate!" I tell her, she squeals happily.
"So how'd you get here in the UK?" I ask her.
"Well i got a scholar in one of the Universities here so.. " She says cooly, i nod.
"How are you? You know about..." She looks at me worriedly.
"It gets hard, but I'm trying my best to get better.." I tell her, i swallow hard, my emotions changing.
"Well i need to tell you about him.. He's-"
"Sam." I warned, stopping her sentence. I search emotion in her eyes, pain hammers against her orbs and i knew exactly what she was about to say. I knew he wouldn't make it. Why would i have left if he could do it? He's in a happy place now..
"Okay, well? I want to see the apartment!" She beams, i nod, a smile spreading along my lips. We climb onto my car, leaving the Coffee shop to the apartment building.
We ended up talking for like feels like hours, i needed to catch up with her, since i never replied to any of her texts, or answer her calls.
"Wait Mason?" I asked surprised.
"Yeah.." She blushes.
"You're together?!" I asked, pushing in the subject, her cheeks turn deep red as she nods, i giggled.
"Um can you come with me to get my stuff.." She asks, i nod. After a cup of hot choco and throwing chips around, we went to the hotel she was staying.
A picture catches my eye, sticked to the mirror, it was Her, Mason and 2 other guys.
"Who is this?" I ask her.
"Well those are my band mates.." She replied.
"You're living the big dream?" I ask.
"Not exactly, it's just a little thing we started a year ago and there, we just play in bars and stuff.." She says, as she pulls out her thing from her closet, i sit on the bed staring blankly at the wall. My thoughts change in an instant, Niall's face shows up in my head, he was smiling, telling me he loves me, but he never got to finish his sentence, the gunshot echoed throughout the warehouse and my heart stops.
"Skylar!" Sam yells, i was breathing heavy and crying, she kneels infront of me with wary eyes.
"I'm fine." I force a smile, but she won't believe me. She shook her head, sitting beside me.
"Even if we haven't talked for almost 2 years, I'm still your bestfriend no matter what." She smiles at me, as i lay my head on her shoulder.
"When will it get better?" I ask her.
"I don't know. But you're strong, you can do it.." She tells me, i nod, wiping my face dry.
We drive back to my apartment, the whole drive was silent but not awkward. Sometimes it never avoids to cross my mind, what would it be like if i hadn't met him? Would it be easier? But the thought if him with a different person creates a lump down my throat. I swallow the tears that are about to show, as i parked.
"You go on, I'll follow.." She nods, and sends me a reassuring smile as she climbs out of the car, with her bag.
I slam my palms against the wheel angrily, i don't know why i was angry, but i knew i wasn't happy. I was upset and i blamed myself for everything. How long will this pain last? When will the nightmares end? It's like it won't. I wish it would. I miss him so bad. I miss how he'd get jealous when another guy pays attention at me. I miss when he'd just kiss me. I miss everything. I decided to follow Sam, i found her talking on the phone, I'm guessing it was Mason since she murmured 'I love you' after ending the call.
"Hey." She says.
"Hi." I tried to sound like i haven't been crying in the car, but the squeak sound in my voice gives it away.
"The band has a gig tomorrow night, and we're playing for a bigger audience. And i want you to watch." She suggests, she's telling me this to get my mind off of him. I know it.
"Sure." I nod, forcing a smile. She walks to the bathroom but i stop her.
"Are you sure you're okay with me being your roomate?" I ask her, she states at me confused as if what i was saying was crazy.
"Why not?" She asks.
"Well, i don't want to bother by moping around and stuff." I tell her.
"Skylar you're talking like we haven't been bestfriends for four years." She laughs, i end up laughing. Laughing makes me feel like i haven't laughed for decades.
"Ok." I just say, she nods and walks in the bathroom. I prop myself on the bed. I stare at the ceiling blankly. I have counted the bolts up there, all 64 of them. My phone starts buzzing from my pocket, pulling out the device, my mom's name lights up the screen, as i press the green answer button.
"Hello?" I say through the line.
"Hi sweety, so did you meet your roomate?" She asks.
"Its Sam." I say.
"Well that made it easy for you to say yes!" She tease, i giggled.
"I'm glad you and Sam have reunited, its so long since you last talked." She sighs.
"Well i just called to check up on you! I need to go sweety. Bye!" She says, as the call ends. I sighed deeply, dropping the phone to my side.
****
The days goes by like a blur, and in swift motion its already 9:00 pm. I end up watching countless movies, Sam was talking on the phone, probably with Mason. I try not to look jealous when they exchange I Love You's, but to be honest i am.
I end up falling asleep with my laptop still on my lap. The nightmares never gets better, it just gets worst. This time someone purposely shoots Niall, and he whispers that its my fault, as he collapses to the floor, a pool of blood underneath his head. I sprung awake, with heavy breathing and my heart pounding, the fact that every dream feels so real. I end up blaming myself repeatedly. Its hard to pretend that i don't get affected by this, but infact i walk with it in my head for the rest of the day. I should be used to it, I've had it ever since the incident, it never stopped, it got worst, different features, but it always ends with Niall shot, it doesn't make it much better. The bags under my eyes are bigger, its so obvious i don't get sleep. Sometimes i just pretend he is still beside me, humming a song to my ear as i sleep, but that never works. I really missed Sam and I'm happy she's with me, but because of her, i remember. I remember that its my fault. I remember that its my dad. I remember that i couldn't save him. Every single day I'd wish it was me who got shot, not him, and maybe it would hurt less. Maybe it would get better. Maybe. But it doesn't.
ŞİMDİ OKUDUĞUN
Forgotten || n.h
Fanfiction"Has he forgotten?" Sequel to Trouble [BOOK 2] Months had passed, Skylar had pushed herself to move on, but things take an unexpected turn when she comes face to face again with the person she had tried to forget. He is alive. Niall Horan is still...
