*Dedicated to @moonspirit101*
*AVA*
February 2nd
I spent the entire past few days with Ava. She's the only thing in life that's really making me happy to an extent. I've been having those secret sessions with our guidance counselor it really doesn't help. I want to talk to Av's but, I can't bring myself to do it. Everything is off with me, instead of seeing beautiful white winter snow I see soot lying on the ground its awful. Food doesn't even taste the same is that weird, I don't know anymore. I'm happy in a way that my parents haven't noticed anything. I don't know how much longer I can live like this. These journals haven't been helping at all damnit I really don't know if I can do this anymore.
I wiped away some tears and turned to another page this is the last page he has filled in.
March 20th
I can't f.ucking do this anymore. No No No. Nothing is right anymore I'm done. I'll miss my loved ones but its better this way. F.uck F.uck F.uck I just
That's was all I can read the rest of the entry was ruined by black pen ink. I'm the stupidest human to have walked this entire earth. I couldn't believe I never noticed any of this at all. It took me until his mother f.ucking death to find all of this out. I feel like, a freaking lobster being thrown in a pot of boiling water. I can't even cry anymore really.
I throw the book on the ground for the second time since I've learned of its existence.
"Aargh!" I yelled as I kicked things around the room.
"Why did I ask Margaret for this damn journal" I picked it up from the floor and threw it again.
"Slow the f.uck down there, hulk" I turned to see a smirking Zayn leaned against the door frame.
YOU ARE READING
WALLS(Zayn Malik A.U)
FanficHe took another hit at his cigarette then finally turned to face me. "What's the point of living if your not alive" He asked. "Who's said I wanted to be alive" I retorted. He laughed the smoke blew in my direction. "Join the club sweetheart" He does...
