Words between DREAM & REALITY

Trapped

Trapped in your heart,
Yet I was feeling safe,
The boundaries you made for me,
Were maybe for our sake. 
With time, silence was the best ornament you had,
And maybe, just maybe I failed to read them out.
Second chances; I ruined them so perfectly,
And you started putting chains on your wrecked doors,
I felt the deep urge to end my life,
But somewhere from the depth of my heart, those promises roared. 
And then I woke up, courageous and strong,
I tried falling out for you,
But failed when I heard those sad love songs. 
Then; with you even my darkest nights used to flatter,
Now; I'm broken; weak and shattered.
Out in the world of reality,
You were my best dream,
The moment I woke up,
Loneliness puked it fears on me like nightmares.
Well now,
I'm still trying to learn how to live,
Or rather I'm trying to pretend I'm not dying.
Masks are all I'm having now,
Fakeness is all I'm left with.
Another day, and a different face,
Die secretly, die with grace. 
I'm out from your heart now, alone and free,
Wandering places where once I want to be.
Sinking so deep and I feel wrecked,
Being so free but , I still feel trapped.
My dead fears are up from their grave again,
Now walking with me like shadows. 
I'm killing myself every second,
To make you live the moments of your life,
No matter I'm feeling suffocated, broken, weak and trapped,
Atleat you're all free and alive. 

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🖤