Dramione one Shots

I Love You, I'm Sorry

Dear Hermione,

I used to always just wait outside of class just to see you. Just to hear your next comeback. Your clever names to call me. Your creative words you used. I wait just to hear that beautiful voice. Then one day, you left class quietly, not one sound. I felt confused and lost. I lost my train of thought. I tried to talk to you. I couldn't expose my true self. It's a rule from my house.
When I saw you exit the class all sad and gloomy, I knew it wasn't me. I knew it was something or someone else. I felt angry at that. I walked up to you and yelled. I complained about how stupid and weak you were, letting something get you down and cry. I was being a jerk, but I cared.
It wasn't till I saw your eyes tinkling with tears, that I stopped. It wasn't till I heard your voice whimper. Till you said those three words. "I give up" That was when I realized you had let your walls down. That you were lost. That you were broken. I saw it in your eyes. Not just the tears. I also saw the pain. The way it hurt. The tiredness. You were tired of everything, I realized. You were scared and broken and alone. I didn't want you to be alone.
You cowered away from me. I stepped forward, trying, not to scare you, but to comfort you. To apologize. To get you to forgive me. To be happier again. I would've let you punch me again like in third year. I would do anything to get you to laugh and smile again. To be happy again.
I knew I had did the wrong thing to yell but I wanted to fix it. I wanted to make it better. I wanted you to be better. To be back to the way you always were. Even if it meant to have you yelling at me. I was willing to let you hate me even more. I just wanted the old Hermione back. The happy Hermione. The adventurous Hermione. The smart Hermione. The brilliant Hermione.
But then you ran. You ran far away from me. You ran from everything. Your problems. Your friends. Your education. You ran away from everything, leaving it all behind. Leaving me behind. I couldn't let that happen so I tried to follow you. I really did but you seemed to know your way around the school way better than I do. You seemed determined to go somewhere before I caught up to you. You seemed like you had something to do. I just didn't know what it was you wanted to do.
When we started to run up the familiar long case of stairs, I realized what was going to happen. What you actually wanted to do. What you were planning to do. I didn't want to let it happen, so I tried hard to stop you. I tried with all the strength I have from quiditch practice. I tried with everything that I had.
But it turns out I wasn't fast enough. You had been faster. Quicker. You had already beat me up to the roof of the Astronomy Tower. You had already been ahead of me. It was too late for me. It was too late for you. You had already let go of everything completely. You had already jumped. You already killed yourself. You died. As did a part of me.
I had given up all hope since then. Since you died. I had given up on doing anything. I only lived the rest of my life mourning over you. Over the one person that I actually had feelings for in the whole school. The one person I'd never thought I'd need so much. The one person I'd love so much. The one person Id ever want to spend my life with. The one person who had left me alone in the world. The one person that made me give up on being a Death Eater.
I gave up on being a stuck up, spoiled brat of a Malfoy. I gave up on being like my father. I gave up on looking up to him. I gave up on doing everything he wanted. I gave up on listening to everything my mom said about things being just fine. Because I knew. I knew you it wasn't. Without you. Without Hermione Granger, nothing was fine. Nothing ever will be. At least, not for me.
Not even when Potter won, it still wasn't fine for me. Not after he died and the school was fixed. Not after I was free. Not after my father was locked away. Not after my crazy aunt was killed. Not after everything that happened. I still needed you there. I still needed you then. I still need you now.
I wanted to see you there. To see you happy that the wizard world was at piece. To see you trying to influence people to join S.P.E.W. To see you scold Potter and Weasley. To see you laughing and smiling with the Gryffindors. To see you frown at me. I don't even care what you do, I just want to see you alive.
I still need to see you. I still need someone to care about. I still need someone to care for me. No one even thinks twice about me anymore. Yet I think a million times about you.
I just wish I could go back and never take any moment with you for granted. I wish I could go back and relive every moment with you to the fullest. I wish I could go back and be yours. I wish I could go back and make you happy. I wish that you were alive. I wish, that at the very least, you could have died happy. I guess it's too late, now. I still wish you were here, alive and well. Most of all, happy. I wish I didn't make your life horrible.

Love, Draco Malfoy.

P.S. I love you. I'm sorry. If only you lived longer. Maybe, if only i was a few seconds ahead of you. Maybe, just maybe, you could have been my friend. My best friend. My close friend. My girlfriend.
Maybe, just maybe... you could have been a Malfoy