dolan twins imagines

⇻ a letter (g)

WARNING: CONTAINS A LITTLE SUICIDE DON'T READ IF NOT COMFY LOL

hittin' you in the feels with this one 👊

third point of view again :) (i really love writing in third point of view aha)

grayson dolan -

grayson stands in the the middle of the room, looking around at the pictures of his girlfriend and the things that belongs to her. well, belonged to now. these things weren't hers anymore. every since y/n committed suicide last year, grayson refused to step inside her room, not wanting to be flooded with the many memories he shared with her. it was too overwhelming for him and he knew he would just break down, something he never liked doing, afraid it would make him seem weak. now grayson had to clean this room out, making it into a guest room for his family to stay in for a while.

he stands there, willing himself not to cry as to took a look around. he walked to her nightstand and picked up a picture frame that held a picture frame of them. grayson was holding her in his arms, bridal style as she laughed freely, head tilted back. a tear dropped onto the picture and he was quick to wipe it off before setting the picture frame down.

he sat on the edge of the bed and reached to open the drawer, revealing nothing but a single piece of paper folded neatly. grayson frowned slightly, not remembering this ever being here. he picked it up and slowly opened it.

there was a date at the very top, written in y/n's messy handwriting, and it read - 9/21/2016. a day before she committed suicide. he continued on reading, immediately stopping at the first sentence.

dear grayson,

by the time you're reading this, i'm already gone.

grayson let out a shaky breath, knowing it was a letter that she had written to him. he didn't want to read it, but he did at the same time. he knew it was going to make him cry, but maybe there was an explanation for him, so he wiped his eyes, and continued reading.

dear grayson,

by the time you're reading this, i'm already gone. it may be a week, it may be a month. however long it was ago, i know it was a hard time for you. i'm sorry i had to do it, i really am. but i couldn't handle living here anymore. you're the only person who cares about me, and i bet the only person who cried too. if you didn't know, my whole family hates me. that's why i moved into your house in the first place. yes, i lied. i said that i wanted to be closer to you, to wake up everyday and see your beautiful face, to hug you and kiss you, and it is true, but it was also just to hide the fact that i didn't have to see my family ever again. you're my first boyfriend and my first everything, first kiss, first hug, first date. i'm really happy i ran into you at target. you've helped me through so much, and if i'm being honest, if i haven't met you, i would have committed suicide a long time ago. i love you so so much for everything you've done for me, but i can tell that i've become too much to handle for you. i know you know about my depression, but i don't think you know how bad it's getting. i can see that you're starting to become sad too, i can see it in your videos. i can see it in your eyes. you're not as happy as you used to be, and i blame myself for that. you deserve to be happy and i'm not going to let myself get in the way of that. i had to go grayson, there's no point in me being there anymore. what else is there to look forward to? i know you miss me. i know you love me. i do too. i love you grayson, so so much. and i will never stop loving you. i know you're not over me yet, but you need to move on. find someone who will make you happy. find someone who will love you as much i did. find someone that will treat you better than i did. you might think i'm gone forever, but i'm not. i'm always here grayson. i'm right here in your heart. don't forget about me, cause i know i won't forget about you. you're the best thing that ever happened to me and i owe you my love for that. i love you, forever and always. i'll see you soon baby.

- y/n

grayson took a shaky breath, setting the letter down on the nightstand. he stood up and started ripping drawers out of the dressers, pushing tables down, breaking everything and sending things flying. he finally fell to his knees, letting out loud sobs as he buried his head into hands. he was mad at himself for not taking good enough care of you. if he payed more attention and got you to see a therapist, everything would be fine. he was angry at himself for letting you go. he feels like that it was his fault, he was your boyfriend, and he was supposed to take care of you, but he let you go. it was something he never could forgive himself for.

so grayson sat there, crying his eyes out, until there were no more tears to be shed. for he was heartbroken that it had to come down to this.

a/n: sorry i've been gone for a while, needed to take a little break from everything i guess. but i'm back now, so it's all good. hopefully this (short) imagine made up for my absence?

we're almost to 100k reads!! i'm so excited!! thank you so so much for your endless support, i really truly love you.

thank you so much for reading!! i love you!!