The Choices we Make [O.E II] ~On Hold~

Chapter nineteen- Not what he seems.

 Chapter nineteen

I hadn't moved for about two days, my body was so weak and tired. Hardly able to think completely, Kjon had been showing up more and more, he didn't talk to me. Just stared then left after about three minutes, or what I thought was three minutes. I couldn't tell time any more, my thoughts were so jumbled. The only thing I wanted was food, honestly. A nice… juicy apple… my stomach snarled at me.  The door opened again and the scent of an apple rolled into the cave, I shifted slightly my eyes staring blankly and continually at the shaft of light. Kjon came in, the click of his leather boots and the jingle of the metal on his armor echoed around the cave, I felt the sand shift as he stood beside me.  I felt a gloved hand go around my waste and I was sitting up, staring into his blue eyes. Kjon set me down so I was sitting up, he handed me an apple, not a word. I bit into the succulent fruit, eating it quickly.  The boy knelt beside me for a moment.  Then he stood and left as quickly as he had come, I let him go. Finishing the apple quickly, I was still malnourished but slightly better.

This happened several times, each time he would bring me the same. A Red, apple…

I wondered what had sparked this sudden kindness in this cold white haired boy, I sat with my head against the wall, whispering elven songs my mother had sung to me as a child, often Kjon would be in there to listen to me, he would stand against the cave wall with his head turned to the side, not meeting my gaze as I sang quietly.

One day, I was in the middle of a tune a soft song my mother had sang to me every night before I went to bed, I was slowly feeling better after getting the apple from Kjon every day, today he came and sat beside me. “Scarlet?” He asked. I turned to look at the boy, he was starting to come into a new light after me. I flickered my eyes slightly, my brown eyes collecting the soft sunlight that reflected against his snow white hair. “I, want to apologize.” He said “For doing this to you, you’re the queen of Mirkwood. The one everyone thinks dead.” He said, his gaze downcast. My head shot up off the wall and I looked at him in surprise. “How… did you know?” He looked at me sideways, but said nothing for a long moment. “I, have my ways. But, I know this. You have children, and a family. And I was wrong to take that away from you.” I looked down “No, I was running away to the un dying lands, away from them. I lied to my husband and children, I thought I could go to the un dying lands and find my father, he could cure me of my night terrors, I so often get.” I said. I couldn't believe I was telling this crazy man about my motives and life, but after he had been relatively kind… and I had not spoken to anyone since Reni left. Kjon folded his legs. “I would let you go, but the men want that Ransom, I am the leader but there are some among the group vying for my spot, they think I have grown a soft spot for you.” He said slowly, testing the words.

“I'll tell you my story, how about it?” He asked, his blue eyes soft. I couldn't refuse, I nodded slowly listening to the boy.  “My family, lets just say we worked closely with the king Aragorn after the war was over with Sauron, my father was his general of the army, he died in the war but my mother took good care of me on what he left, after father died Aragorn gave my family money and a high status among his circle of advisors, I was  to be the next one after my mother passed, I grew up in an overly papered environment, I had maids to wait on me every time I needed something, my mother gave me everything. I was even engaged to a nice young maiden, but I left it all behind for this marauder like life, why you ask…?” He said quietly, I hadn't asked but I was wondering that. “because I was bored, and I was stupid. Now mother is dead, Aragorn refuses to have me back because of all the trouble I've caused his guardsmen and kingdom… and the reason I hate your kind…” He said “Is because, I am simply jealous of your people, they are beautiful, wise, smart and live forever.” He said quietly, lowering his head into his hands. “And you, you my young lady where no exception, you where beautiful even if I could not see your face under that Scarlet cloak, the first time I saw you… but after we spied on you for a while I saw your face and I was utterly…. Struck by the beauty of you. Chestnut hair, large brown eyes and that lovely pale skin.” He said, looking up at me moving slightly and running his gloved hand along my cheek.

I shifted slightly, wanting to move away from him  but I could not. “And it made me angry, after we saw that you where the one wanted it gave me a reason to hunt you down.” He said, I twitched slightly as he moved away from me. “But I regret that choice, honestly I do.” He said, I stared at this boy as he moved closer “And for that, I am sorry…” he whispered into my ear, then got up and left vanishing into the sunlight that I could not reach.

I curled up into a little ball on the sandy floor after he had left.  Finally allowing myself the satisfaction of crying, after what he said I realized what I had lost, my family… I knew that Thranduil was not one to forgive, my children would but would he ever be able to love me again, accept me? Perhaps that’s why he hadn't shown up yet. I pushed a pile of sand into the palm of my hand and let it dribble down like peach colored water, then I dropped my hand. Perhaps, this was my fate to be sealed up like a dog all my life,  if it wasn't a cave then it was a palace. Was that my destiny…? To be locked up forever…