Until you were gone (Complete)

Prologue

"That painful feeling when you watch him being happy with her." - unknown

BIANCA'S POV

I can't stay in the hospital. Kaya after akong makuhanan ng dugo, umalis na ako doon. Kahit sabi ng mga nurse that I needed to stay for a while and I can't drive, umalis pa rin ako. I can't stay there. Kasi para akong dinudurog. I know kahit hindi nagsasalita si Armel, alam kong sobrang nag – aalala siya para kay Sallie. This was the first time I saw him shaken like this. Talagang natataranta siya. Hindi makausap ng matino. It was like I was brought back three years ago when I found him broken and wasting his life.

Here I am alone in the bar inside Summer Rose. I've been drinking I don't know how much already. Basta gusto kong maging manhid. I can't bear the pain, because it is killing me slowly.

Everything was all set. The church, the venue, the caterers, dresses, flowers, cakes, everything. I am going to be married in five days. In fucking five days! Pero bakit ganito? Bakit ganito ang nangyari? How will I explain to everyone that I am marrying a man who was inlove with someone else? What did I do to deserve this kind of pain?

Inintindi ko lahat. Alam kong may ibang mahal si Armel noon. He was really broken and I was the one who was with him. It's too unfair kasi Sallie left him. Ang daya – daya niya. Iniwan niya lang si Armel tapos ngayon bigla siyang babalik kung kelan maayos na ang lahat.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Napatingin ako sa nagsalita at nakilala kong si Chris iyon. Ang kaibigan ni Sallie.

"Is she okay now?" garil na ako. I can't feel anything at all anymore kasi marami na akong nainom.

Bahagya siyang tumango at umorder ng beer.

"Thanks to you," sagot niya.

Napatawa ako ng nakakaloko pero sumubsob din ako sa mga braso ko at sa mesa at napaiyak. Naramdaman kong marahan niyang tinapik ang balikat ko.

Nag-angat ako ng mukha at nakita kong malungkot siyang nakatingin sa akin habang punong – puno ng luha ang mukha ko. Inabutan niya ako ng panyo.

"I don't fucking deserve this. It's too unfair," umiiyak na sabi ko.

Napahinga ng malalim si Chris habang nakatingin sa akin.

"They are meant for each other, Bianca. You know that. You know that Armel loves someone. He never really loved you," sabi niya.

Lalo akong napaiyak sa sinabi niya. Kasi totoo iyon. Alam ko iyon.

"Kaya ba siya bumalik? Para bawiin si Armel? Iniwan na nga niya si Armel. Itinapon niyang parang basahan. Tapos ngayong okay na, bigla siyang babalik?" para akong bata. Hindi ko na alam ang mga rason ko. Ang alam ko lang kasi ngayon ay nasasaktan ako.

Muli kong kinuha ang baso ng alak at dire – diretso kong ininom iyon. Nakatingin lang sa akin si Chris.

"What will happen now?" tanong ni Chris.

Nagkibit ako ng balikat at nagpahid ng luha. Ano na nga bang mangyayari?

"He doesn't want to call off the wedding. Sabi niya ituloy daw namin. Siguro itutuloy na lang. Hindi ko alam. Bahala na," natatawang sabi ko at tumayo na.

Fuck my head was spinning. Gawa yata ito ng pag – donate ko ng dugo tapos ito at naglasing na ako. Naramdaman kong inalalayan ako ni Chris.