Out Of My Mind

Lilac

does it feel nice?
to have your hands intertwined with someone else's.
to have someone hold you as you cry your heart out,
to have someone whisper "i love you" in your ear as your smile widens. 
to have your first electrifying kiss.
in my eyes, love is very dull.
because simply i never experienced it before.
i write poems about love and heartbreak,
yet i never experienced any of it.
none, not at all.
is it because i don't want to ever be in love?
that's not it,
it's just that people don't notice me, the real me.
they see my skin and think i'll shoot them.
they see my hair, and think it's fake.
they see my friends and think they are thugs.
i don't think people see that i'm bursting with calming waves.
ready to capture anyone willing to sink for me.
i may not seem like i care, but i do.