Out Of My Mind

Hyacinth

sometimes when i close my eyes,
i imagine myself sulking in your arms.
as you push away my hair from my face and kiss my forehead.
i can still remember the nights when you came home late,
the smell of husky alcohol and fainted perfume was still on you.
i remember the nights when we both stayed up late watching old movies.
i remember the mornings when i felt your hot breath tickle my neck,
your hands secured tightly around my waist.
i remember the note.
the note you left after i came home.
i'm sorry and we can still be friends was written on it. 

i sit still in our-my room and cry.
i knew the girl you were with, i knew all along.
but i kept us going, i was hoping to never cut that string.
but instead you ripped the scissors away from me and cut it yourself.
you made a new string and continued to tug at it.
sometimes when i close my eyes no tears escape because i know that you aren't faithful at all.