Poetry of my Thoughts

Alive and Living

My griefs...my sorrow...the numbing exhaustion of reality

My problems are so much to bare on their own...

I'm the only one who can deal with them

There is a difference between living and being alive

Living has no overbearing weight to struggle with, it's all on being carefree

Alive is surviving through tough times, it's all torture with no end...

It's a miracle, a wondrous miracle to see how I'm still standing here...

I suffocate everyday and yet I'm breathing fine

I've been abused by reality and yet I go on with my life

Cherish those little moments of happiness I can get, before going back  to the pain

I have no reason for being in the present, but I always go to the future for help

I'm basically a walking corpse, trying to bring back a little bit of life before it's to late...

I have moments...

constantly...

I have moments where I can't feel anything, to the point that I am numb

I am so numb that the only thing I can feel is pain

Depression has a very strong tole

And I've been caught in it's trap

I've suffered so long...and it astonishes me that my heart still beats

Small and weak heartbeats

The only thing keeping me sane is the fact that I know I have people that would miss me...

It's crazy, but maybe that's who I really am...

I feel like I'm faking myself whenever I'm 'happy' or 'enjoying myself'

An act that I'm a fraud that disguises their true identity in front of everyone

I wear a mask so no one will see the tears running down my face...

I don't need them to worry about me, I know they have their own problems

So I keep my mouth shut while I observe everything else...

I try my best not to overthink, but I face the reality of it

It's a burden, really...

...a burden I have carried for to long...

~~~~

1-800-273-8255

Do I really need to explain...