The truth she held inside

1

There are so many things that come with being in High school. So much more freedom than middle school, more after school clubs, more class options, and most of all, more feelings.

"I bet she likes Damian." Remi blurts out at our lunch tabel.

"No, I think she likes Ezekiel. Just look at her face when he enters the room." Lucy responds to Remi's comment.

For weeks they have been going back and forth, trying to figure out who I'm supposedy crushing on. Remi, Lucy, and Ava are my absolute best friends. We've been friends since we were around eight and practically been through everything together. For the past few weeks, they have noticed that I've been acting different. Ava is the only one who hasn't bombardened me with questions about who I like.

"We're your best friends, Nyla, You can tell us anything. Even if it's about the person you're crushing on, you know we won't tell a soul. We may tease you about it every once in a while but it's all in good fun." Remi places her hand over mine and smiles.

The thing is, my feelings are all out of wack. I don't really know what I feel. There is someone but it's not what Lucy and Remi think it is. When you like someone you kind of know right away and you're sure of most of your feelings . Well it's the exact opposite for me, I have no idea what to think about this possible crush and most of the time I refuse to even call it a crush.

"Guys, lighten up! If there is something to tell, Nyla will tell us eventually. Some things are tough to speak about even if it's to your best friends." Ava comes to my rescue.

"Thank you." I whisper to her.

She is spot on. This is something that is difficult for me to speak about. The bell rings and I am off to study hall. This is one of my classes where I don't really know anyone and I usually keep to myself. I make sure to bring a book with me so I won't get bored or run out my battery on my phone. The teacher who usually sits in our study hall with us is pretty cool. She usually talks to us about anything that comes to mind and we sometimes find out information that no one except the teachers know about.

"The talent show is in a month and a half and they're going to announce the details tomorrow. I'm excited about this year, new people are judging so you may actually have a shot if you're not doing something that involves playing an instrument." Ms. Hanover made a good point.

Every year the winner of the talent show is someone who plays an instrument. The judges were obviously biased especially because one of them was the music teacher. I always think about entering the contest but never really follow through with it. This year will be different, I'm really into dance and I think I'm going to do a solo in the talent show. The thought of dancing alone infront of a bunch of teachers and students scares me but it's something I have to do.

"Thinking hard over there?" A kid named Arthur sits on top of the desk infront of me.

"Um, yeah I guess. I'm just thinking about the talent show."

"You're gonna be in it? What are you gonna do, dance?" He raises an eyebrow.

"How did you know that? We've never talked before." I wonder how he could possibly know I am dancing.

"I know that but we have been going to school together since fourth grade. I've seen you around a lot plus I pass by the auditorium on my way out of the school at the end of the day and you're always in there spinning on one leg and leaping all over the place. You're actually pretty good." Arthur flashes a smile at me.

"Spinning on one leg" wow, he really doesn't know a lot about dance. Arthur and I have one of those pass each other in the hallway but don't say anything type of relationships.

"I think you should go for it, you have a great shot this year and you're bringing something new. Kids who dance in the talent show have fast, upbeat routines and the songs are always songs they over play on the radio. Tell a story, make me feel something Ny!" He shouts the last part and a few heads turn.

Ny? Since when did I have a nick name? I didn't know we've gotten to this stage.

"I love giving people nick names, even if your name isn't long, I'll still find a way." He winks and walks to the other side of the room.

I know what Arthur said is true and I was planning on doing a contemporary solo. I think I know what story to tell but am I ready? I can't even admit it to myself or my friends, how am I supposed to dance about it?

I shake the thought of the talent show from my mind and open my book. I have time to think about what I'm going to do but it's official, I'm going to be in the talent show.

The last period of the day is finally here and I am reunited with my friends again.

"Attachments by Rainbow Rowell, I love that book, have you gotten far?" Ezekiel asks me. I hesitate to answer because he is one of the guys Lucy thinks I like.

"No, not really. I just got it yesterday." I say shyly.

"Oh cool, let me know when you finish, you'll love it." He makes his way to his table.

Lucy clears her throat, an obvious attempt to get my attention but I don't bother looking at her.

"Okay Nyla, you can't tell me there isn't something between you two." Lucy is beaming with joy.

She is being a little delousional right now. We were just talking about a book, not making plans to go on a date. Why is it such a big deal?

"That's enough Lucy, not this again." Ava comes to my rescue again.

"Yeah Luce, enough." Remi says jokingly.

Remi is semi delousional too so I expect that from her. A few more people walk into class just before the bell rings and this is where my heart starts to race. This has happened before but not for no reason. There is a reson for everything and the reason for my heartbeat speeding up and my heavy breathing is because of a person.

I haven't said anything about it because like I said, I don't know what it means. I try not to freak myself out about it because I know what it could possibly mean and I'm not ready to accept that. I don't know when I will ever will be.