The truth she held inside

14

     Our Sunday consists of us doing absolutely nothing except preparing gifts to send out to family members who live far away. I have a bunch of cousins and most of them are so young, it sucks being far away. Some are in California, Maine and other places that I have a hard time remembering. Mom got all kinds of stuff for them, the coolest dolls, toy cars, clothes for the bigger cousins and gift cards.

Malia and I are on wrapping duty which isn't very good because I can't wrap a present without it looking like a one year old did it. Veronica decided to bake chocolate chip cookies, it was a random decision but I'm glad she did it.

Lately, I've been wanting to spend more time with my sister. I want to talk to her about what's going on in my life and I know I can but she's a college student now. She's barley ever home and when she is, she's busy.

Every once in a while I'll make a remark about us not spending time together but it almost always goes over her head. One day I'll cough up the courage to talk to her.

At least we get to wrap presents together, it's the little things that count. While I screw up wrapping an Uma doll from Decedents 2 for my eight year old cousin, I make a mental list of all of the events coming up and how prepared for them I am.

First on my list, we have the dance this Friday. I have my dress, accessories, shoes, makeup, and I know how my hair is going to be. Next is the talent show the following Thursday. My costume is almost done, and my dance is pretty much finished. After the talent show is Christmas break which means Christmas will be here before I know it and I'm only semi prepared for it.

I'm not that worried about it, not like I usually am. We have completely taken over the living room floor so my dad heads to the kitchen to read his paper.

Moments later I hear him call my name in a stern voice.

"What did you do?" Malia whispers.

I shrug my shoulders because I don't know what I've done. I walk into the kitchen and my heart sinks into my stomach when I see him holding my phone. Roni is still baking cookies and I hope whatever he saw he won't yell because she is in the room.

"Who is 'S' and why do they want you to call them later?" He has his eyebrows raised.

I'm really panicking now. Since he freaks out about boys, I put Stevens contact name as 'S' with a rose emoji. I wanted to put a heart but that is just asking for trouble. I have an 'A' for Arthur but with the peace sign emoji next to his. If I was going to save myself from a lecture and possibly being grounded I needed to think fast. Who else could 'S' be?

I look at Roni and I can tell she's scared for me.

"Uh, 'S' is my friend Suri, in my English class. We just became friends and I think she wants to talk about the homework our teacher assigned, most of us were pretty confused." I can feel my sweat rolling down my forehead.

"Oh okay, that's what I wanted to hear." He hands me back my phone and gets up from the table.

I take his seat and bury my face into my arms.

"Wow." Roni whispers.

"I know." I whisper back.

It wasn't a complete lie, I did just become friends with Suri but I don't have her number but now I will have to get her number. Just in case my dad wants to follow up on my story, I text Ava and ask for Suri's number. They've been friends for a while but I hope she doesn't mind.

I text her, pretending that I forgot what our Geometry homework was. I didn't ask about English because she knows I can just ask Ava if I ever forgot what the homework is. Suri is the only student in my English class who is also in my math class.

She seemed to buy what I was saying, she even had a few things to ask me. I now have her as 'S' for now.

My mother is a little more easy going when it comes to guys. She'd let me text a boy, she trusts me to make good decisions. My dad doesn't completely like Malia's boyfriend and she's nineteen. They've been together since they were freshmen in high school and have a pretty solid relationship. Dad is just one of those old fashioned, strict parents.

Imagine if I were to tell him about my feelings for Reese. I can't imagine what he'd think of me, how he would treat me. The thought makes me sick, I want to cry, I want to scream but I know that I can't do those things right now. There are so many reasons in my life that make me not want to scream or cry or feel sick.

"Nyla, Ava's mom just called to let me know that your costume is finished. I'll pick it up tomorrow evening. I can't wait to see you in it." My mom is really excited.

I feel all happy inside knowing that it's coming together.

"The cookies are in the oven, I repeat, the cookies are in the oven." Roni announces.

"About time." Malia responds.

"Relax Malia, perfection takes time."

"In that case. the cookies better be perfect Roni, you've got a house full of cookie lovers counting on you." They joke around.

I listen to their conversation while texting Steven. I inform him about the situation that could have possibly blew up in my face. If my dad found out that I sort of lied to him, I wouldn't be going to the dance and I would be heartbroken.

"Why are you so smiley?" Malia breaks me out of my thoughts. "Thinking about a certain girl?"

I want to throw up when she says that. Even Roni's eyes got wide when she heard what Malia said.

"What? No and keep your voice down. I'm thinking about Steven, the guy I like, remember?" I yell at her in a whisper.

"Oh sorry, I didn't know." She seemed genuinely sorry.

I put the rest of the gifts I didn't wrap to the side, I need a break and my go-to place for getting away from the rest of my family is my room.

I walk away without looking back at my sister. I know she meant no harm but our parents were still downstairs with us and it's still a sensitive subject for me. She doesn't know much about my feelings and that's mainly because we spend no time together.

I don't plan on things staying this way, I will catch my sister up on everything that happens in my life, one day.