five

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When I woke,

I was in the hospital.

I groaned and

Let my head fall back

Onto my pillows.

Again?

I croaked, and my

Voice sounded groggy.

What happened?

The doctor told me,

Your condition,

It's worse than

We thought.

We need to start chemo

As soon as possible.

His face was grave.

-

My mother rushed

To my bedside

When she entered

The room and

Held my hand.

I'm so sorry,

I couldn't hear you

When you yelled,

She cried.

I had my earphones in,

And I was cleaning upstairs.

I should've been

More careful.

I'm sorry.

I almost laughed

At how wrong she was,

But I didn't.

It's not your fault,

I managed as

I winced because

Of a sharp pain

In my head.

The doctor looked over

With a forlorn expression,

But said nothing.

-

Adam is here,

My mother told me

Two days later,

Giving me a look.

I was home now,

Only for a few days

Before treatment started,

But I wasn't allowed

Or able

To do anything.

Should I let him in?

I nod slightly,

Burrowing deeper

Into my blankets.

You appeared

A few moments later,

And stared at me.

You could've called me

When you were

in the hospital,

You began.

I would've come.

I could've done something.

I smiled a little,

Shook my head,

And patted the cushion

Next to me.

Come sit, Adam.

You walked over slowly,

Gently sitting down,

And examined the

Table and couch.

You couldn't have

Done anything, Adam,

I told you quietly.

My hand found its way

Into your hair, and

I twirled a strand

Around my finger.

It's not your fault,

It's the cancer.

I just can't

Beat it.

-

You decided,

A movie and a half later,

That you were

Going to take me

To the downtown museum.

Can't we just

Stay here?

I pleaded, but

You would have

None of that.

We got up

Off the couch

And I went to

Get dressed.

You were washing

The dishes

When I returned.

Wow, Macy,

You said, shocking me

By using my actual name.

You look amazing.

I was wearing a t-shirt

And a pair of leggings

With vans.

I guess it was

A step up

From pajamas

Or a hospital gown.

Thanks?

I looked up at you,

And you nodded

With a smile.

Come on, Little Red.

Let's go.

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