Heathers Stuff, because I'm obsessed

HSPMS But Heathers Part 2

CANDY STORE

Hermione: Is something the matter?

Brie: Well... Gryffindor's beliefs are just absurd. I can't wrap my head around them!

Harry: Are we gonna have a problem?
You planning some kind of scheme?
You've come so far,
Why now are you starting to blaspheme?
I'd normally pray for your forgiveness
And bathe in the love of the Lord
But I'm feeling nice, here's some advice
Listen up, you horr-ible person!

[INSTRUMENTAL]

Ron and Hermione: God likes-

Harry: People who
Say it's His work they do

Ron and Hermione: God likes-

Harry: Those who fall
To their knees
Give Him their all

Ron and Hermione: God likes-

Harry: Submission
From God-fearing women

Ron and Hermione: God likes-

Harry: It when you

All three: Do what you're supposed to do!

Harry: If you lack the faith
Go and be a DAFE
Fornicate with your girlfriend

Ron and Hermione: Woah-oh-oh!

Harry: Or come be righteous
with all of us
So Hell isn't where you end

Ron and Hermione: Woah-oh-oh! Woah-oh-oh! Woah-oh-oh!

All three: Honey, watcha waitin' for?
Welcome to my Gryffindor,
Time for you to prove you're not a sinner anymore!
Then step into my Gryffindor!

Harry and Hermione: You fall-

Ron: On your knees
Cuz it's god-

Hermione: Who you should please!

All three: All you-

Ron: have to do-

Harry: Say your sinning days are through!

Ron and Harry: Those DAFEs-

Hermione: Aren't your friends, I can tell in the end-

All three: If they-

Ron: Were all you got-

All three: You'd be thrown in hell to rot!

Hermione: 'Course if you don't care,
Fine, go and sin and swear,
Listen to some "emo" bands

Ron and Harry: Woah-oh-oh!

Hermione: Or forget those DAFEs

Ron: And come practice faith-

Harry: Let's go kneel and clasp our hands!

Ron and Hermione: Woah-oh-oh! Woah-oh-oh! Woah-oh-oh!

All: Honey, whatcha waitin' for?
Welcome to my Gryffindor
You just gotta prove you're not immoral anymore
Then step into my Gryffindo-o-or!

Harry: You can pray to God-

Ron and Hermione: Or go to hell to roast!

Harry: You'll live a facade-

Ron and Hermione: And when you die, you're toast!

Harry: You could belong here-

All three: Or if you prefer

Harry: Keep on blaspheming

All three: And end up like her! *they point to Nicola*

Random Gryffindor Asshat (spoken): Pft! You think you're so clever, DAFE? You're an idiot, and you know why? You're on the highway to hell!

Sarah: My dog speaks more eloquently than you.

Random Gryffindor Asshat: I was going to convert you, but you deserve to burn in hell, you devil worshipper!

Sarah: *shrugs and walks over to Brie* So, are you coming to the theatre club?

Brie: ... *looks over at the trio* I can't... I'm busy. I'm sorry, Sarah.

Sarah: Oh, it's alright, Brie.

Harry and Hermione: Oh-

Ron: oh-woah-oh-oh-oh, honey, whatcha waiting fo-

Harry: (spoken) Shut up, Ronald! (Sung) Step into my Gryffindor! *insert riff here*

Ron and Hermione: (Time for you to prove you're not a liberal anymore)

All three:
Then step into my Gryffindor!
it's my Gryffindor it's my Gryffin-
it's my Gryffindor it's my Gryffin-
it's my Gryffindor it's my Gryffindor!