Francisco's
"Doc Francis, patient in bed 1! She passed out po." Sabi ng intern ko, pinuntahan namin yung pasyente sa bed 1. Pag bukas na pag bukas ko ng pinto there I saw a woman. Though her face is covered by her hair, bigla nalang akong napaestatwa sa kinatatayuan ko.
Mas lalo akong nagulat ng hinawi ng nars ang buhok niya sa mukha, and there I saw her resemblance with Maureen. Kamukhang kamukha niya ito. Tinitigan ko ang pasyente ng mabuti at kumurap kurap na baka dala lang ng pagod ko kaya mukha niya na ang nakikita ko, pero hindi e! Mag kamukhang mag kamukha talaga sila.
"Francis her BP is dropping!! We need to open her up, hindi na kaya ng katawan niya!" Moe's OB told me, she's tryingg to revive our baby. She's having miscarriage. I wore my gloves to open her up. I need to save my wife.
"Still her BP is dropping Doc," the nurse commented at para akong namumuti na sa sobrang takot. Andthen I heard the beeping of the heart monitor and the flatline.
"Damn it, Moe. Fight." I told her as if she can hear me. I'm still trying to save her kahit alam kong wala ng pag asa.
"Francis." Narinig kong sabi ni Dr. Fuentebella, her OB, pero kibit balikat ako, patuloy parin ako sa pagrerevive dito.
"No! Mabubuhay siya! She'll survive." I said still trying to pump her chest. "Damn it, Moe!! Honey, fight please." I told her trying to supress my tears.
Yung ibang doctor naman na kasama ko sa loob ay nakatingin na lamang saken. I stopped and looked at my wife.
Napatigil ako at napasalampak nalang sa sahig. Hindi ko man lang siya nailigtas, I can save others life, pero hindi ko man lang na ligtas ang buhay ng asawa ko. Lumapit sa akin si Dr. Fuentebella at saka tinapik ang balikat ko. "We did everything to save her, D. Mañalac."
"Declare it." I told her at saka ko muling hinawakan ang kamay niya.
"Time of death 13:34"
"Doc Francis, her BP's dropping." The nurse said as she pump her chest. Tila awtomatikong naglakad ang paa ko patlapit sa babae. The memory five years ago at the OR seemed to repeat.
Naalala ko si Moe, on that bed with the many wires on her body para lang mamonitor siya. Parang lahat nagbabalik.
It might have been the rush, at dali dali kong honawi ang mga nars na nandun at saka ako na mismo ang nagpump dito.
"Moe, breath. Breath," paulit-ulit kong sabi dito habang patuloy ako sa pagpump. After a set ay chineck ulit ng nurse ang vitals niya.
"Nagnormalize na siy doc," sabi nito at napahawak naman ako sa mga kamay niya. I don't know what had gotten in to me at bigla bigla ko nalang itong niyakap. My tears were already flowing down and I don't care at all.
"Doc, kilala niyo ba yung pasyente?" I was taken a back to my senses ng tinanong ako ng isa sa mga nurse. Dali-dali ko namang pinunasan ang luha ng coat ko.
Napahiwalay ako sa babae at saka tumalikod sa kanila. Instead of answering their question ay inutusan ko nalang sila kung ano ang gagwin sa pasyente.
Agad akong nagtungo sa clinic ko. I slouched on my chair and reached for our wedding picture na nakalagay sa ibabaw ng mesa ko.
Memories were freshen up as if kahapon lang nangyari lahat. Everything that day happened so fast. I thought it's just another tyhatbna magiging masaya. Little did I know, na yun na pala ang huling araw na magkakasama kami ng masaya.
"I miss you so much, Moe," I utter in the air, as if she's just there. I put the frame closer to my chest and hug it. I badly miss her so much.
Hanggang ngayon, I am being haunted by guilt na hindi ko siya nabuhay. Masakit, na ako, I'm a doctor and could save other people's lives, pero sarili kong asawa that time, di ko man lang napahaba ng buhay.
"I love you so much, Moe," I muttered in tears.
