Killing Tink

Ch. 22

Tink woke to see John standing in her window with a deep frown. She didn't know if he was mad or upset- it was too hard to tell with the small glaring window. She wanted to yell, to scream, to spit and yell but the restraints made her remember to keep everything in check.

She was sore and confused and ready to leave this place and do whatever it took to get herself out in the world again. She pictured herself taking John out in the woods, stripping him down and leaving him just like Stash left her. Then she'd find Stash and do the same to him. One by one watching animals come and take chunks of people who took her time and energy and life away.

She stayed calm and still and tried to appear relaxed. Maybe there had been a mistake-- some error that brought her here like an animal tied to a table. She offered him a smile- the kind she used to give Stash when she was just on the fence between his anger and amusement. She made sure to make it small to keep her teeth from showing. Scaring him wouldn't make any of this better.

The click of a lock wounded and she closed her eyes getting ready as his dress does clicked against the white tiled floor.

"Hope. Are you ok?  How did you end up in here?"

She heard it, the sympathetic tone laced with excitement. The same tone Stash got when she screwed up and he had to punish her.

"I don't know. They drugged me, I was crying, they said there was no baby and I remember screaming and then a bunch of people grabbed me..."

Her voice trailed off as she remembered the man there, his hands on her wrists and legs in her bed. His voice getting loud and yelling at the nurse. She remembered how big his eyes were.

"You caused a disturbance Hope. You assaulted some of the staff. One girl was injured pretty severely, she didn't get to finish her shift."

Hope knew he liked it, bringing he shame of it down on her, making her feel small and wrong. She searched her memory for hitting the staff, she remembered perhaps a foot striking the guy, but she never hurt the girls did she?  A low moan started in her throat. She didn't mean to hurt anyone. Especially the nurses who had helped her and checked in on her.  The weight of it sat on her chest choking out the air.

"I didn't...I didn't mean to...I...they were talking about the baby."

John clicked his tongue and placed his hand on her chest by her shoulder while the other clutched a thick yellow chart with her name scrawled in sharpie.

"They won't take you back now Hope. You've ruined your chance there. We have to think of something else. If you take the pills I'm prescribing I can give you a room for tonight in my unit- but the door will have to be locked for your safety. I run the psychiatric wing. But it's safe and warm and you won't be tied."

He backed up and waited for her answer as she studied his face. It was blank. No telling signs of what she was supposed to say or how she should react. She hung her head and waited.

"I'll have you moved immediately. A private room. Staff there will be aware, and it's only for a night. You can take that can't you?  I'll meet with the board and see what we can do with you tomorrow."

To Tink, laying there on the table it sounded like salvation and she didn't understand the quick beat of her heart or the feeling of crawling bugs on her skin. She should be grateful. She should say thank you- be believable. If nothing else, John came in here and let her know she wasn't forgotten.  But she could feel something off, a panic settling down inside that needed release.

"I... I want to go home."

John covered his face with his hands and she could see a deep crease appearing on his forehead. She wasn't even sure why she'd said it, she didn't want to go home, or did she?

"We've been trying to locate your family Hope. The whole team here has been involved. We can't do it without your help. They haven't reported you missing.  I guess you were right. I'm so sorry. You aren't the kind of kid who ends up on the milk carton."

Tink felt the world spinning. It was finally over. The small nagging ray of hope wondering if she could ever go back fading to nothing. It was a relief really, she didn't say anything in response. What could one say to that?  Stash was right all along.

She lay still with her eyes closed wishing she could melt down into the table down through the floor and land in the pit of hell where she belonged. It was all her fault- she never should have left home that day. Never chosen a boy over family no matter what problems she'd had.

She heard John's footsteps clicking toward the hall as he muttered "we'll work this out, you'll see."

Tink lifted her head to ask him about the restraints. They were tight and she could no longer feel her feet or arms because of the struggle but he was already dialing his phone.

"Dana, tell the chief I need to see him regarding Hope. They want a private discharge. No press, no publicity until she's settled. I can have it settled by this evening... I'm .."

Tink let his words drift as he clicked the lock back on the door. Tonight she would be in a private room. Sheets and a bed and maybe even a window. It was a lot to wish for, and John was making it happen. She needed to stop being so distrustful and start being grateful for all he had done. No one else was looking. No one else wanted her. But she was old enough to love a life of her own, if only she could figure out how to start it.

I'll run things myself someday. I'll be in charge of me, and no on else will be in the picture. I'll be a mother, a good one, and I won't need anyone else at all.

It felt good to think about being her own person. Coming and going as she pleased- not looking over her shoulder or taking of her clothes. It wasn't impossible. She just needed one person to help her get started and he was already on her side.  Somehow that didn't make her feel better at all.

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Not the longest chapter but a needed transition and where I left her just didn't settle well with me. It's about to get a little bumpy- for everyone.  Feel free to leave a star or a comment just to let me know you're out there.

**please remember this book is rated mature. The next couple chapters will be a bit on the graphic and definitely high on the disturbing side.  Last warning if you're a sensitive reader!