Killing Tink

Ch 2

Stash plopped himself down on the dirty twin bed making the rusty metal springs squeal in protest. With his eyes never leaving her face, his hand reached quickly toward the inner part of his jacket for the flat tin flask he drank from when he showed up. A slow grin spread as he finally looked away to reach for the twist off cap.

Tentatively she reached into the bag and pulled out the lukewarm hardened burger. Her fingers take a moment to caress it. Solid and firm around the edges, but still warm and soggy in the middle. She watched him for another moment before she dared to lift it to her mouth. He was occupied, head tipped back as far as it could go not watching anything but the ceiling as his throat bobbed up and down with each loud swallow.

The flavor of the burger as it passed her dry cracked lips caused a cascade of saliva and happiness. Slowly she savored it, forcing herself not to rush as the bite traveled down her throat and toward her swollen belly. The meat would be good for the baby. She made sure to chew it well, grinding up each of the bits and letting them get soggy before allowing them to scratch their way down.

Her mind struggled to remember the meal before the pizza. How long ago was that?  It was hard to judge time here without windows, clocks, and calendars. A day, a week, a month, it was all the same - one endless block of time that never seemed to stop.

When the last bit was gone she licked the wrapper, nibbling off bits of cheese and savoring the leftover flavor left on the crispy parchment. Her baby would like that, flavor and comfort, energy to grow on. She was proud of herself for getting it all down. She rolled her tongue across her teeth, hoping to find another leftover morsel but instead settling for wiggling the back left tooth that was trying its best to leave.

Stash pulled out a box and lay it on the bed. It was small, dented, and wrapped with a piece of the Sunday comics. He tapped his fingers on the spot beside him and she studied his eyes wondering if he really wanted her to come. Sometimes he was the tiger, luring her to make a move so he could pounce on her for doing so. This was the tricky part, figuring out the move he wanted and not the direction he gave.

His face was relaxed and his glasses sat crooked on his large reddened nose. His breath came in quickened pants filling the room, each one smelling like a liquid that could start a spontaneous fire. She moved slowly, timidly. Hoping sitting next to him was the choice he really wanted.

He placed the box on her lap and smiled as she slowly peeled the paper trying her best not to rip it. She remembered presents. Her parents had given them to her for birthdays and Christmas and sometimes just because. She would give her baby presents all the time. For no reason other than it was alive.

Inside the box was a ring. Small and silver with a stone in the middle. Blue like the ocean she'd seen when she was fourteen and went on a trip with her parents. Long before she'd ever left with Dixon. Before she ended up getting in Stash's car to get away from Dixon who made her turn tricks for fast easy cash that weren't fast, or easy.

She should have called home, but that was a long time ago and the hope of changing things was over. She wondered if her parents ever thought about her, or if they'd forgotten all about her like Stash always said. Lately, the days and time mixed themselves up like a story she had read years ago. Parts of books, old movies, and things that had to be her real life just jumbled together until she didn't remember what was real or imagined anymore.

She remembered running, though. That was real life. The pain in her ribs and chipped front tooth made her remember the reality of that. The old woman at the diner who stared at her as she screamed when Stash dragged her out by the back of the hair. She thought Tink was some sort of strung out weirdo. It was obvious in the way the woman looked at her over those square-rimmed glasses. And there was Stash in his fancy suit trying to smooth things out by telling her Tink was his daughter and on her way to juvie. Of course, the woman wouldn't question Stash. He was the adult. She was the screaming lunatic yelling kidnapper.

But she couldn't blame the old woman. Just like she couldn't blame her parents for not coming and saving her, or even looking. It was her fault. She shouldn't have left them in the first place. Life was full of traps and sometimes one just led you straight into another. 

"Do you?"

His voice hissed and his breath landed on her cheek warm and putrid. His large rough hand grabbed the back of her neck and shook her head like a rag doll.

She'd been lost again. Remembering and dreaming instead of paying attention. He didn't like that. She didn't know what to say. It was a grenade waiting. Pin pulled and sitting in the middle of that small dim room making her body squirm and beg to run. She thought of the baby. Small and sweet just hoping she would do the right thing and save it from being injured or killed.

She turned toward him. His eyes creased deeper around the sides of his face like tiny bird tracks, they lifted. The answer was always yes when the crinkles went upward, and no when the crinkles went down. That was her tell.

"Yes," She said. The words coming out bouncy as her head wagged back and forth. She closed her eyes to shield herself from nausea. She wouldn't lose that burger. Her and the baby needed that meal and she wasn't sure how long it would be until she ate again.

"Damn right you do! And don't you forget it."

He released her neck and she nodded. Whatever it was she was supposed to remember she was sure he'd say over and over again. It didn't matter anyway, as long as she survived tonight. Every moment was only about surviving the now.

"Put it on. Hurry up. I've got somewhere to be. And I made this trip special just to bring this here. Wasn't that nice of me? Don't I always take care of you Tink?"

She didn't hesitate to put the ring on her finger. It slid around in circles. Just like her world, wobbling and lose, without a stable place to take a stand.

"It's a little loose. You'd better eat more. I don't like skinny bitches that look like crackheads. And you're gonna need a shower. You smell like piss. I was gonna give you some special loving but you wrecked it didn't you?"

Jade closed her eyes. The ocean color of the ring blasting her with memories of past times and who she before this cell. Jade. A deep crashing well threatened to rise with the memory of herself before and she slammed it back into place. Tink. She was Tink now.

The loose ring had made him angry. There were only two ways it would go now. He would either beat her and leave the room, or she would have to make him happy first, then he would beat her and leave the room. She knew which one was safer.

"I'm a dirty girl. But I'm your dirty girl." She said it without gagging, waiting for the result of her decision to show on his face.

He smiled. His white teeth gleaming off the yellow bulb hanging above as he leaned back and closed his eyes crossing his arms on top of his head.

She got down on her knees and started unbuckling his pants praying the burger would stay down where it belonged.

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Again, I've got nothing here. Sorry.