The World is Ugly, but You are Beautiful to Me

Chapter 24

It's 4 am but I still can't sleep. I can only hear my head pounding and nothing else. But my thoughts are still restless. I have unfinished business with Logan and I won't be able to relax until it's resolved.

I doubt that he's awake, but I text him anyways.

Hey. You awake? We need to talk, so if you are please answer. I set my phone on the table beside my bed, expecting to get no reply.

It buzzes right away. I'm awake.

Awesome. Do you think you could meet me somewhere?

Coffee shop? I smile at his message. The coffee shop, where we first met, when he was new and I saw him for the first time.

I exit my house silently and walk to the coffee shop, which is open 24 hours. When I push open the large glass door, the delicious scent of coffee fills my senses. My eyes search for Logan, finding him right away.

My lingering smile has now disappeared, nerves tearing away the giddiness. I know he's upset. I would be upset if I were him too.

I hate it when people are mad at me. I hate this feeling in my chest, the way I can feel the hope sinking with every passing second of silence. I hate how I can physically feel our friendship dissolving and poisoning my bloodstream.

I know that I apologized, but he never told me that it was okay. And even if he did, it still doesn't make what I did okay.

But this poison isn't only coming from me. I don't understand why Logan was at the club, or why he was there, or who Hannah is.

"Hi," I greet him, not knowing what to say. He returns the hello as I sit down across from him at a small round table.

"About earlier, I over-reacted," Logan says, his eyes glued to the table and his lip between his teeth.

That is not what I was expecting. I can already sense the lightness in my limbs. The poisonous feeling that was weighing me down is gone.

"So did I. I'm sorry." He nods. "Look at me, please," I say, my voice barely above a whisper.

Logan obeys, his eyes slowly lifting from the table and meeting mine. They're red and blotchy, as a result from the alcohol that he consumed. Mine probably look the same way. But I know right away that the cloudiness is gone from his head and that he is sober. His eyes are stressed and worried and apologetic, and maybe pissed, but not drunk.

"So, um, who's Hannah?" I ask, even though I don't want to know the answer.

Logan's eyes automatically look past me. He's ashamed. "Well, at first, she was no one. I made her up to make you jealous. But then later I met a girl, and though her name wasn't Hannah, I called her that in my head because I was too drunk to remember her real name."

"Who did you go with? Why were you even there?"

"Ryan. And his friends. I know that they suck and I don't even like them, but they found out about Chelsea's plans with you and knew I would be alone, so the invited me to hang out with them. They all wanted to go to the club, so that's what we did."

"Oh." Ryan? After all that's happened, I wouldn't have suspected Logan to hang out with them again. But I also would've never suspected myself to spend time with Chelsea, so I can't hold it against him. But it still doesn't seem right. "Don't you think it's a little weird that Chelsea brought me to that place at the same time that Ryan brought you?" My mind is probably overthinking the situation, but those two people are full of evil and I never know what they're up to.

"I guess it is. But I don't know. Ryan and them are nice guys, to me at least. I don't know what they'd want anyways."

I agree, because I'm too tired to discuss this most-likely-coincidence at five fifteen am.