Letting It Out

Waiting To Exhale

WAITING TO EXHALE:

There's so many emotions swirling in me that I can't think straight

Begging for a distraction, then screaming cause it's just too much

Yelling at things that I don't really hate

Can't process anything cause I'm bristling to the touch.

I'm drowning in emotions I can't pin point

And suffocating in a longing for something that I can't say out loud

I cling onto you like you're my saving grace

Cause with you I find release from my fate

It doesn't make sense to cry, so I don't

Or maybe I can't and can't tell the difference

If I'm reduced to begging, I won't

I'm feeling too much all at once

My distractions are a nuisance, it just makes the pounding louder

Gripping my head like a vice while my body shivers and shudders

Empty memories and terrifying ones pervade my mind

Threatening to cripple me while keeping me up at night

Memories, that I hoped would've been long forgotten, haunt me

Twisting my insides as relive it over and over again

I refuse to call it trauma as it shouldn't be

Praying that for once, this was all in my head

Pen to paper and fingers to my keyboard

I write as I process and find myself breathing again

This little solace of a few unspoken words

Is enough for me to clear my head

With an exhale, I can feel a weight lifted

As now my mind begins to process as it's no longer clouded

So calmly I, unhealthily, place things back into their respective boxes

And release a breath, cause for just a little while longer I don't feel locked in.

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