eleven

191 12 1
                                    

Lauren's diary.

hello once again diary,

Last night after leaving Ally's house, I felt some sort of relief. I had so much bottled up inside of me and I felt like I could never tell anyone what was going on with me and somehow she managed to make me open to her.

I lost my parents. How can someone move to a state they've never been to and act like it isn't a big deal? How can someone just start their entire life over and act like that past never existed? My aunt did this all so quickly and I'm beginning to wonder if she even wants to take care of my sister, brother and I or if she just doesn't want to deal with the fact that she lost her sister.

My aunt had barely moved to Texas so she could try to get away from all the stuff going on in Miami but now the stuff, or at least my brother, sister and I, had followed her to Texas. I'm scared to talk to her. I'm scared she's gonna blame all of our current problems on me.

I don't know my way around Texas, well, San Antonio. School is already hard enough so having to walk places just to get home is just more stressful. I don't want to deal with the world anymore. I feel like the day I lost my parents, I lost myself. I don't feel the same anymore. The motivation is gone.

I feel completely alone now. It's hard talking to my sister and my brother. How can I help them get through this when I can't even help myself? I was happy before all of this happened. I don't think I will ever be happy again. I refuse to believe that something good is going to happen to me again but I pray to God that someday, this pain leaves my body. I hope no one will ever have to feel the way I feel.

Well, Ally from my school texted me asking me to go over. I'm not sure if I want to but so far she has been the only one who has seemed interested in me and I'm surprised considering the fact that I'm quiet in our art class.

Bye diary.

Lauren.

*

i decided to add lauren's thoughts to this too woo :) i have an idea about this story so i'm gonna write it all out and see if i'm satisfied with it.

dear diary ➵ alrenWhere stories live. Discover now