Johnson Memories

Chapter six Paige's problems and parents goodbyes

Mari's pov
My life right now is complicated.
I have a family that I don't remember much about and friends that are the same problem.
My parents call me multiple times a day, me and my husband are having trouble with our relationship, my oldest daughter will be five soon, my only son is such a troublemaker and if things can't get any worse, my three week old daughter might die.
Let me catch you up.
After Daniel's birthday and Flitz's proposal, Paige's asthma was getting worse.
We brought her to the hospital and the doctor said that her breathing is getting slower and that she could die.
Me and Wes were heartbroken and desperate to find a way to keep our youngest child alive.
The doctor told us that they can give her treatment but it's risky and even if it does work, her asthma would only calm down for six years and then she could start having seizures and panic attacks.
I didn't know what to do, I could either say goodbye to Paige forever now or in six years.
Wes told everyone else about the situation and they're really worried about her. They're on their way now.
I go over to Wes who's leaning against the wall, looking down at the floor in sadness.
"Honey?" I call.
Wes looks up at me with red, wet eyes and some liquid snot, coming out of his nose.
"I'm really scared about our decision. And I don't know what we should do" I tell him, tears running down my face.
"I know baby, It's hard. But no matter what our decision is, we're just gonna suffer from it. She could die now and we'll just keep being miserable and mourning her or she could get the treatment and die during it or survive but suffer for six years" He explains.
It's not easy feeling like you're losing a child and no matter what we choose, we're just gonna lose her anyway.
I walk away from Wes, we both need space right now.
I walk outside and feel the morning sun touch my skin.
How did our lives come to this? From what Wes and everyone has told me, our lives were perfect.
We were a perfect family and now this is happening.
My daughter's health is killing her, my marriage is falling apart and I'm really scared that my family might also be falling apart.
I don't know what I would do without Wes.
I know that we're going through a few problems but we can't live without each other and I also just want Paige to stay alive but I have a feeling that this'll be her last day on earth.
"Mari!" I hear a voice call.
I look in the direction of the voice to see Courtney, Olivia, Joven holding Jenny's hand, Lasercorn, Sohinki, Flitz, Boze, Shayne, Keith, Noah and Damien pushing Daniel in a stroller, running towards me with worried looks on their faces.
"We came as soon as possible" Sohinki says.
"Is Paige ok?" Olivia asks.
"What's happening?" Noah asks.
I don't answer them, I just burst into tears and cry.
Everyone gives me a hug to feel better.
I eventually calm down enough to explain.
"Paige's asthma has gotten worse. She might not make it" I sob.
Olivia and Boze cover their mouths with their hands, looking shocked.
The others look at me in shock and sympathy.
I start crying again and feel arms behind me, pulling me into a hug.
I recognise the softness as Wes and sob into his chest while he strokes my hair.
This kinda feels familiar but I can't put my finger on it.
While still in Wes's embrace, I feel a hand touch my shoulder.
"Mari, I'm so sorry that this is happening. It's a huge impact on all of us because she's family but we're gonna be strong for her" Boze says.
I turn my head to look at her and give her a small smile.
"You're right. This is hard but we're gonna be strong" I say and wipe away my tears.
"Mommy, is Paige going to die?" Jenny asks me.
I kneel down to her.
"I'm sorry Angel. I wish I could say no but I can't lie to you" I tell her, trying to be gentle with my words.
Jenny's lip starts quivering and tears form in her eyes.
I instantly wrap my arms around her, allowing her to cry on my shoulder.
I sit on the ground, pulling her onto my lap and rock back and forth, holding her like she's a baby again.
Daniel knows something really upset his sister and starts crying.
"Sh. Sh" I soothe my daughter.
"Jenny" I say, getting her attention.
She looks up at me, tears streaming down her face and shaking a little due to hiccups.
"This might be the last time we see Paige, so how about we go and say goodbye?" I suggest.
Jenny nods and I lift her off my lap and stand up.
I hold Jenny's hand and Wes pushes Daniel's stroller while the others follow behind us.
We get to Paige's hospital room and walk inside to see her in an incubator with tubes and wires connected to it.
Our friends stay outside to let us have a family moment.
Me and Jenny walk closer to the incubator and I lift her up so she can see her baby sister.
"Bye bye Paige, I'll miss you so much and I love you. You were my only sister" Jenny says and puts a hand on the side of the incubator.
Paige coughs a little then turns her head and looks at Jenny, she smiles and squeals, happily at her big sister and reaches her small hand towards Jenny's that's on the incubator.
Tears start falling down my face as I smile and look behind me at Wes.
He's stood next to the stroller with Daniel in his arms and looking at the girls.
He then noticed me looking at him and we make eye contact for a few seconds, then he walks over with Daniel to let him see Paige one last time.
Daniel looks at Paige and babbles in baby language.
Paige looks at Daniel and giggles at him.
I then put Jenny down and Wes puts Daniel back in the stroller.
"Jenny, can you stand with Daniel please? Mommy and Daddy are going to let everyone else say goodbye and then we're going to" I tell Jenny.
She nods and stands next to the stroller.
Wes let's the others in so they can see Paige before it's time.
After everyone has said something to Paige and said goodbye, they're all in tears.
They give me, Wes, Jenny and Daniel hugs then stand in a corner, with the kids, watching me and Wes.
I stare at the incubator then close my eyes, hoping that when I open them non of this is real.
But when I open my eyes, everything is the same.
I let out a shaky breath and fresh tears fall down my face.
Wes wraps his arm around my waist and I look up at him.
We stare at each other for a minute then Wes motions his head to the incubator.
We walk closer to our dying daughter and can't help but think about when I first saw her.
Wes told me that I saw her right after she was born because duh! I gave birth to her.
But I don't remember that, I only remember first seeing her after I woke up and she was a few days old.
We look down at our little girl with sad expressions.
"Paige, I'm really sorry that you won't get to live a life with us. But we'll always love you and I will never forget you. You're a special girl who was strong enough to survive this long with all your asthma problems" I managed to say before bursting into sobs but I try to stay calm and hear what Wes has to say.
"Sweetheart, you are a gift to me. I really don't know what I did to deserve your mother, your siblings and you but I am so happy you're all in my life. It's deviating to see you like this, I was sure you were going to grow up into a smart girl and become an editor like me or a ballerina like your mother but remember this Paige. Something that you'll always remember and what we'll always remember. You're a Johnson. You're part of two families, the Johnson family and the Smosh family. And no matter where you are, you'll always be part of those families. I...I love you so much and I will never forget you" Wes's speech brings even more tears to my eyes and he's also crying.
I move my hand and entwine my fingers with his.
He doesn't hesitate to turn to me and hug me, I feel him shaking and sobbing.
I hug him back and start sobbing too.
The others rush over and we group hug.
A doctor then comes in.
"Do it" Wes tells him.
The doctor nods and goes to the incubator, opens it and picks up Paige.
"Wait!" I exclaim.
The doctor looks at me.
"Can I please just hold her one more time?" I beg, really wanting this.
The doctor nods then comes over to me and hands her to me.
I carefully take Paige into my arms and hug her very gently.
"I love you baby girl" I whisper.
The others have one last glance at her before I hand her back to the doctor.
He lays her on table, gets a needle and carefully injects her with the liquid.
Paige cries a little then calms down.
I watch with a breaking heart as Paige's breathing slows down and eventually stop.
I burst into tears again and bury my face into Wes's chest.
Wes wraps his arms around me and I feel everyone else giving us another group hug.
She's gone. Paige is really really gone and nothing can bring her back.

Author's Note
Sorry for the really depressing chapter.
I really don't know how this came to my mind.
It's evil of me to kill off Paige, I feel terrible about it and I'm not gonna lie, I'm in tears but I'll try to either make it better or make an alternate to this chapter and make Paige ok.
So thank you and again I'm sorry for the depressing chapter but I hope you enjoy it.
Bye!