Seven Days

Afternoon

1:59 pm

Outside Evan's house

I'm sitting on the gutter outside Evan's house, drawing random circles on the ground. Kath is beside me who is doing the same thing as well.

"You know, if you're in a fight with your friend, you should make up with him now," Kath says.

I raise an eyebrow. "For someone like your age, you have a mature mind," I comment with a chuckle.

"Yeah. That's what my mom told me as well--Oh, by the way! Mom wants to invite you for dinner. Since you've mentioned that you'll only be here for a few days, might as well, get along with you before you leave. And bring your friend too," she exclaims.

"I don't think Evan will join us," I say. I put down the stick I'm holding and look at her and smile. "And besides, I guess you wouldn't even get along with him."

She pouts. "Why not?"

"For one, he's a cute guy," I wink at her. She averts her eyes with the still pout on her lips. I chuckle. "You might just gawk at him whenever he will talk."

She sticks her tongue out to me. "I'm not going to gawk at him. But you," she bumps her knee to mine, "you definitely will."

It's my turn to look away now. How can this young little girl be someone who's just like my age? I sometimes wonder if I'm childish enough or I'm acting perfect to my age.

Evan always tells me to act my age. He doesn't know, I'm acting my age. Maybe I'm just a little childish.

Someone clears their throat behind...

"Is there a possibility to join your little talk?" Evan asks, getting out of the house. He sits beside me, pulling on his sweet signature smile. My lips just forms in a thin line before looking away.

"Hi," Kath greets him and I can't help but tease her. I think she has a crush on Evan.

"Hey. You are? I'm Evan, by the way." He extends his hand for a handshake.

"Kath," she says, taking his hand.

"So, what are you two talking about, Kath?" Evan asks. I see him gaze at me.

I can't pretend now. Tomorrow, I'm going. I have to make sure that I'll be able to get the closure that I want. He's making me stay but his reasons are not good enough for me to stay. But deep down, honestly? I'm kind of hoping he'll be able to have a valid reason, even one only.

"So I'm telling Charlie that my mom's inviting her over dinner and I say you should come--"

"I'll be there," he says, cutting off Kath.

"Cool. See, Charlie? He'll be there," Kath says, ignoring what she's saying earlier.

Evan raises an eyebrow.

"Charlie here says, you won't come."

"Why not?"

Kath just shrugs at him.

"Baby girl?"

I hear Kath gigglea but I ignore her. I still don't take a look at him.

"Baby girl, look at me," Evan says as he is about to lift my chin to his direction.

"Okay,"--Kath stands--"I'm out of here. See you two later, lovebirds." Then she winks while giggling before walking away.

"We're not lovebirds!" I shout at her. She just sends me a flying kiss.

"It's okay." That makes me look at Evan. "You know, if she calls us a lovebirds."

My brows furrow together. I stand up now and head inside the house. Evan follows suit.

I abruptly face him and glare at him, blurting out, "No, it's not okay.  Evan, lovebirds are for two person who are in love with each other. That's why it's called lovebirds for a reason."

"Charlie--"

"And you know what? Stop. Just stop showing that kind of affection! You're giving me too much hope! Too much, you know that? I hate you. I hate..." I sob. "I love you but I have to hate you. It's unfair that I love you but you don't. It's even unfair if i say I hate you when in reality, I don't." I just close my eyes and let the tears fall.

It's quiet for next minutes. Neither the two of us dare to say another word.

Then a hand lifts my chin up and my gaze meets Evan's teary eyes. He has tears in his eyes.

I remembered the last time that I said my first goodbye. Alex messaged me, saying that Evan's freaking out and he hadn't seen his friend act like that before, and didn't know what to do. Evan asked for his help so I would talk to him again. I was so mad at that time that I just had to say goodbye even if I didn't want to. He meant so much to me but I didn't know what had got into my mind. So when Alex finally able to get me to talk to him, I messaged him right away. And he was like relieved.

"I'm afraid, Charlie," he says. And for a moment, I see how Evan becomes so vulnerable.

I embrace him so tight that I want to be one with him. He sobs on the calf of my shoulder.

"People always leave me. I just don't want to feel unguarded that's why I always put this I-don't-care self that I have. But in reality, I'm afraid. I'm afraid that if I let people get into, they'll just leave me like that. You know how my story went, my life story and about my family. I open up to you, Charlie but you still decided to leave," he says in between tears.

"But I took it back," I say, feeling a little ashamed. "I took it back, remember? I told you that I wanted to be a friend but you're the one who didn't want me back. You kept on asking what do I want? I just want to be a friend! But you didn't let me. And in the end, it was you who had to leave. With that e-mail message on a rainy night. "

He lets me go and pushes me away. He turn his back on me and then walks to his room.

What's happening?

I swallow the throat in my lump before running after him.

"Evan--"

"You can leave now, Charlie."

My chest tightens; my hand letting him go. I can't breathe. I... I don't know what I should do. I fall down on the floor as my heave gets heavier and heavier. My eyes are wide and tears are uncontrollably falling. I'm shaking. I'm crying. What should I do?

Then, before I can even notice it, I'm in someone's arms.

"I'm sorry, Charlie. Please don't leave me," Evan says.

I don't say a word, because if I do, I might regret it. I don't want to leave but he's not giving me enough reason to stay. So I just let him cry on my shoulder. I know he'll be able to get over with what we have. That's just how it's going to be for both of us. I know we have to let things go. It's hard, I know.

But that's what's for the best.

---

Ending coming up! I'm crying now. Be sure to check out the ending. What do you think will happen?