The missing diary of Andrew Denis Biersack, found right after the service.
Was it a sign? After all it was the missing piece in the suicide case of Andy.
Will it give Ashley the answer's he is looking for, or will it just leave him at another dead...
I laid in the snow watching my blood soak into the white powder. I was still trying to process what had just happened with Troy. I was still trying to figure out if I felt pain or not. I couldn't feel my fingers but I knew that was just because it was cold outside. Just as I predicted Troy came back for vengeance. He hurt me so bad and I just laughed the whole time. When I laughed he would just hit me even harder. I only cried when he left me their in the snow. I thought of so much as I laid there. I thought about my mother, my father, my music teacher, the few friends I had. How Jake and Jinxx would make funny faces at me so that I would smile. How CC would talk and talk and talk until I had to tell him to stop and take a breath. I thought about Ashley, my Ashley. He was my light, my love, my best friend. He was so kind and nice to me, yeah sometimes we had our ups and downs but we always made up. I knew that I would not be able to find another perfect person like him. He was my soul mate. I loved him. I had also thought about my only friend Matt back at my old school. He was a strange man who used to sit on guard rails with me and smoke cigarettes. He said we had iron dicks or something along those lines. I had laughed so hard that day when he told me that. I had not talked to him in so long, I missed him so much.
When it started to get late I decided it would be a good time to go home. I pulled myself up slowly not even caring that my hair froze to the ground. I made my journey home just taking in all the sighs. I had never realized how beautiful the snow was or how the street lights dimmed every so often. I was just so caught up in my own life that I had never saw how beautiful the Earth was. I had never even saw how cozy my house was when I had walked up to the door. It radiated with warmth, I just wanted to hug my house. Maybe I was just so cold that the outside of a house looked warmer then what I was right now.
I don't know long I was up that night rummaging through all my stuff. I made sure I was quiet enough so I didn't wake up my mother. I did not need her knowing what I was doing. By the time I was finished sorting out all my stuff my bed was filled with piles and labels. The first pile that I made was all my band shirts neatly folded with Jake's name resting on top of it. Next was all my CD's with Jinxx's name on it, then there was all my ripped skinny jeans and candy for CC, I had even decided on giving Troy the few vinyls I had owned. For my mother I left her one of my favorite stuffed animals growing up as a kid. My father got my blanket I had growing up, hopefully my mother decided to give it to him. Finally for my beloved Ashley I took off my necklace my grandfather gave me before he passed and decided to throw in my favorite hoodie.
As I finished packing everything into boxes and bags I had realized there was nothing left to my room. It didn't bother me to much since I had not use for any of it anymore. I wanted everyone to have a little piece of me so that they could never forget about me. Even though Troy caused all my pain I still wanted to give him a little something. Maybe when he grows older he will understand that what he did was wrong. I forgive him and all that he has done. I bet he is struggling just like I am right now. We just handle it in many different ways. When I laid down on my bed for the one hour of sleep I was about to get, I was actually excited to go to school tomorrow.
Everyone sat around the table in the library during lunch questioning why I had so many bags with me. I had told them all day to wait for lunch and now there were nothing but anxious to hear what they were.
"Come on Andy just tell us!" CC said a little bit to loudly earning a glare from the librarian. We kept our laughs to our self so we didn't get kicked out.
"Okay okay. This one is for you CC, this one is for you Jinxx, this is for you Jake, and last but not least this is for you Ash." I said pushing all their bags to them with my things inside. Everyone started to pull out everything giving me shocked expressions.
"Andy these are all you band T's, why are you giving them to me?" Jake asked looking at all the shirts.
"Dude I don't want your CD's. You love these things." Jinxx was the next to talk.
"Yes candy, but why your jeans?" CC questioned. Everyone was giving me puzzled looks as Ashley began opening his bag.
"Andy...This is your grandfathers necklace and your favorite hoodie. Why are you giving all your stuff away. You love these things." Ashley asked me worriedly.
"Guys, guys, don't read to much into it. I just wanted to give you all something to show that I am happy for you being friends to me. Plus my mom is getting me a bunch of new things next week and I need the space in my room." I lied.
"Thanks man your the best." CC said as everyone else nodded their head still in shock.
The bell rang rather early which meant that it was time to talk to my best friend Troy. I had been looking forward to it all day. I excused myself from the table jogging out of the library with Troy's bag in my hand. I wanted to make sure I caught him in time before he went into his class.
"Troy! Wait up." I said down the empty hall. He turned around giving me an evil smirk.
"Hey faggot, you here for round two?" He snicked.
"No. I'm here to give you this. I know we haven't seen eye to eye but I just wanted to give you this to remember me by." I said trying to catch my breath a little bit. I was not much of a runner. I was surprised when he took the bag from me and took the vinyls out.
"Why are you giving me these?" He asked looking back up at me.
"Like I said, it's something to remember me by." He did not say anything as he looked at the vinyls again. I broke the silence. "I forgive you for everything you did to me. I know your probably hurting just as much as I am and that is why you take your anger out on me."
"You don't know anything about me." He said staring me in the eyes.
"It's okay. I just wanted to give you these and tell you that I forgive you." I turned around and started to walk down the hallway.
"I'll see you tomorrow?" Troy asked making me turn around to look at him again.
"No." I shook my head. "You probably won't."
Sincerely,
Andy 1/18/2016
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
