Dear Diary {Andley}

Chapter 3

Ashley sat at his assigned seat zoning out everything the teacher was saying. He couldn't stop glancing at the empty desk next to him. He was upset 99% of the time leaving that 1% when he smiled here and ther. Everything reminded him of his boyfriend. There wasn't a time where he didn't think of Andy. Deep down he knew someone pushed Andy to his breaking point. He just needed to find out who.

Dear Diary,
The past few days I felt myself becoming closer to the group of teens. Especially Ashley. He was the nicest one towards me and the most attractive. There was something about him that made me want to get closer to him. Maybe it was his personality. Everyday at lunch they would sit with me. Their conversations were interesting to say the least. CC was the jokester out of the group, Jake was the quietest out of all of them, where Jinxx kept them in check. I couldn't even explain Ashley, he was just pure perfection.

My cheeks began heating up in history just thinking about him. My body became a pile of jello when I was around him. What was I going to do?! He was in my next class! I was surely going to embarrass myself. When don't I embarrass myself? 

It felt like time flew because the next thing I know, the bells ringing. I pack up my book and head into the battle ground called the hallway. People pushed me around laughing and calling me names. The bullying was getting worse day by day. I don't understand why though, I never talked to any of them and I made sure to be as invisible as possible.

My books were slapped out of my hands as Troy, the caption of the football team, slammed my frail body against the locker staring daggers at me. This wasn't the first time he had done something to me. I was on his main target list. There I was on the top written in big bold letters. Every name on there was substantially smaller then mine. I wouldn't be surprised if my name had a few circles around my name.  Troy was just an asshole at heart. Most days he went out of his way to hurt me physically and or emotionally. It kind of sucked but there was nothing I could do about it. I just had to man up and take the abuse. 

"Andy! Hey." Ashley called after me while I was picking up all my books that were strewn all over the ground. By the time he had caught out to me, I was shoving everything into my locker. 

"I wanted to know if you would like to ditch school and hang out at my place. Maybe rent a few movies and order pizza?"

I blushed nodding my head a little. "Wouldn't your grandparents say something I don't want you to get in trouble."

"It's just gonna be us at the house, my grandparents are out of town for a few days." Ashley smiled leaning against the locker beside mine.

"Oh okay. Are we going to walk there?" I questioned shutting my locker before everything fell out. He nodded his head taking hold of my wrist and putting me out of the building. 

—
Ashley and I laid on the green grass in his back yard taking and laughing. We had brought out any snack that we could find in the house. There wasn't much but just enough for the two of us to enjoy. I wasn't to hungry so I just let Ashley eat most of what he had brought out. It was silent after a while as I stared up at the sky watching the dark clouds float by. I was lost in my own thoughts that I hadn't realized Ashley trying to get my attention. I turned my head to look at him, a few strands of hair falling in front of my eyes.

"A storm is rolling in, are you ready to go inside now?" He asked sitting up.

"I would love to, but I should be getting home. I don't want my mom to worry to much. The might think I got lost or something like that." I said standing up.

"No that's okay, I understand. You head home I'll clean everything up." He embraced me in a shot hug before ultimately letting go.

I smiled at him and waved before grabbing my bag and began my journey home. It had already started to rain half way though and I could tell it would start thundering soon. I quickened my pace a little so that I would avoid the storm completely. I was so very wrong. One second I'm walking and the next I'm being throw to the concrete sidewalk. My heart pounded in my chest as I looked up to see a drunk Troy smirking down at me. I smelled the stench of cheap beer and cigarettes on his breath.

"What's the faggot doing all alone?" He taunted placing a foot on my chest. He gradually started to apply his weight to the one foot. I could feel myself slowly lose oxygen from my lungs.

"Awe your not going to talk. Maybe this will help you." Troy smashed his steal toed boot into my side. I felt a sharp pain in my side every time I took an breath of air. 

He kicked my over and over again, not leaving one inch of my body unbruised. The rain was coming down in sheets by now as he continued his assault. Each kick held more anger and revenge then the last one. Troy punched me once or twice in the face, I could hardly remember what was happening. After he felt satisfied with what just happened, he flashed me an evil grin.

"I hope you die emo freak. You should just kill yourself already." He laughed a sinister laugh before walking away.

I didn't want to get up, it hurt to much. My eyes watered as I lay there like a pathetic loser wondering what i did to deserve this. Was it something I said? Did I do something wrong? Why do I deserve to die? Am I unwanted? I just want an answer. If I did stop breathing, would anyone notice my absence? They would just fill up my seat with the next replacement kid. That's all we were though, a replacement for those who died. I was just a filler in this world just like very one else her. 

Lightning flashed through the sky while I slowly made my way home. It hurt to breath. Every breath sent a sharp stabbing pain through out my body. I was freezing and tired. This was one time I did not want to be alone with my thoughts. They were dark and dangerous. My thoughts were like the monsters that hid under children's bed and in the deepest parts of their closets. 

Finally I was home standing in the empty living room dripping wet. Mom wouldn't he home for the next hour. I stuck a note to the fridge saying not to wake me up, staying home. I could go to school tomorrow, I just couldn't bring myself to face Troy again. Not after what just happened. I lugged my body upstairs and into my small warm bedroom. I changed into dryer clothes before collapsing on the bed crying my eyes out. 75% because of how shitty I felt and 25% because of the pain I was in.

Sincerely,

Andy 9/15/15