i still want you

At least I think I do.

I needed to kiss him. Befor all of this would happened. I ran at him and I kisssed him. The best kiss. I said to him:
M- I love you.

J-You do?

M-At least I think I do.

J- Then. I love you too.

M- I think you are the one.

J- After everything I've done you still can forgive me?

M- Yes.

J- Ya sure.

M-A hundred thousand percent sure.

He said nothing he only kissed me and We both pulled away a few moments later:

M- I want to run

J- What do you mean by run?

M- Run far. I want to marry you.

J- We're so young.

M- Oh.

I went back home. With a little smile. A fake smile. My mom is  not here. And Maddie, she is trying to do many things right now. Trying to get a Job. I personally think that she has potential in being a lawyer. When she was a kid she was always playing at being a lawyer and a scientist. Now, she wants to be an actress. Just like me. I want to be an actress too.

I don't know what should I do. I mean, at 14 years old I've been through so much things. I want to be an actress, or maybe a singer. I don't know. I need to think bout it, in a year, I'll need to choose anyways.

I can't really get him. I don't get, how does he can like me, but, he doesn't want me in his life. Maybe he's pretending. I don't know, tbh.

I hate myself.

-LinaXoXo