Chapter 3:Talk

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Beyoncé

Today Kelly is seeing a therapist to help with her postpartum depression. I've figured that I've done all I can to help now it's time to get a more professional opinion.

Tim was talking Faith for the day anyway so we didn't have to worry about her.

The drive to psychiatrists office was silent. Kelly didn't attempted turn the radio on.

"Kelly?" I asked.

"Yeah" spoke lowly.

"You okay?"

"Honestly No,Beyoncé I'm not okay" she admitted. At least she's being honest and open with me.

"What's wrong?" I asked trying to focus on the road.

"Beyoncé, I'm tired, I'm so fucking tired, I just I don't know how long I'm supposed to hold everything together" she started crying.

"Hey,Hey,Hey, baby it's okay" I rubbed her thigh with my free hand.

"No that's the problem it's not okay! I'm not okay and I don't know why" she said very frustratedly.

"We're going to get through this okay baby" I assured her.

"Okay" she nodded. I doubt she believed me.

"So um anything else you want to talk about"

"No, not really" she shrugged.

"Alright" I responded. Well this is awkward.

I pulled into the parking lot and parked the car.

"You don't have to come in with me if you don't want to" she said lowly.

"I'm going in Kelly" I stated.

"Okay" she nodded and we both hopped out of the car.

We got in and Kelly signed in. We both took a seat away from everyone else.

"Bey I don't think I can do this" Kelly shook her head. " I feel crazy"

"Baby look at me, your not crazy You just need to talk to someone that's all okay" I put my hand on top of her shaky one.

"Kelly Rowland" I heard someone say.

"Baby you ready?" I asked as we both stood up.

"Yeah I'm okay"

I kissed her cheek. And she went in.

Kelly

I followed the woman to her office.

"You can sit down right there" she said as I sat on the sofa.

"So tell me what's been going on?"

"Beyoncé didn't tell you" I answered.

"She did" she chuckled. "But I want to hear it from you"

I sighed deeply. " I don't know, lately I just haven't been myself. Like my entire pregnancy was great literally no problems. I was happy and did what I was told to do You know and  now I'm completely and utterly drained all the time, I'm not happy anymore"

She nodded. "Well. Kelly this feeling your having is normal. New mothers go through this all the time, it's called postpartum depression. You went through a very traumatic event, You gave birth And it's hard to cope with going on after that am I right?"

"Yeah" I nodded.

"Tell me how's your daughter?" She asked.

"She's alright I guess" I didn't know how to answer that.

"Do you get frustrated or stressed when she cries?"

"Yeah I mean it's like I do everything I can and she just doesn't stop, I feel like maybe I'm doing something wrong. I can't even get my child to stop crying"

"Ahh I see. So what do you do when she cries do you hold her?"

"Sometimes. Does that make me a bad person?"

"No not at all. Like I said this is normal Kelly What your feeling is okay" she said. I really listened to her.

I nodded. I was starting to feel better already.

"Do you feel like your letting yourself down or your daughter?"

"Both. I don't want her to think that I'm a shitty mom same with Beyoncé I just feel like she's so much better than me and I'm her mom"

"Do you consider Beyoncé a parent as well?"

"Yes I do I mean she's as much of Faith's mom as me but this should be easy I gave birth to her you know"

"Well why don't we start slow, why don't you start with just taking some time for yourself when the baby does nap" she suggested.

"Okay I can try that"

"And I want you to be open to talk to Beyoncé more often" she said.

"Okay"

She folded her notebook up and set it on the desk behind her.

"I'll see you in two weeks to see how it's going"

I nodded. "Okay"

I stood up and hugged her. " Sorry, I'm a hugger"

"It's fine" she said laughing

I walked out of her office and walked up to Beyoncé. Who was half way sleeping in the waiting room.

"Bey" I tapped her.

"Huh?" Her eyes bolted open. "Hey" she said smiling at me.

"I'm ready to go" I said.

"Oh okay" she grabbed her purse and we went to the car.

"How did it go" she said as we pulled out of the parking lot.

"It was nice" I said.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm alright" I said looking at her.

"Good I'm glad"

I mean I'm not all the way okay but it felt great to get some of that out. She's right I do need to open up to bey more. She doesn't know if I don't tell her and If I don't tell her she gets stressed.

As of right now I'm just okay.

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