♥Crush

Chapter-6

6 years later

I think I have reached the epitome of unrequited love as I never had the courage to tell you what I feel in the last 6 years. So after a lot of overthinking I did the most chicken thing. I contacted you at Facebook. But guess what??? Even after expressing my undying love to you. You said you don't know me or my name. So even when you wished me 'Happy Birthday' on my 17th birthday. You were faking it. You never noticed me. And probably you never will. But what I felt for you whenever I saw you or whenever I thought about you was indescribable. You were, you are and always will remain special to me. You were my first love, my first crush.

You must be thinking that who am I? And why I am sending you these letters now. Well, the answer is quite tragic though and I really don't want to be a girl who's going to be remembered with pity. Because oh my dear crush, All I ever wanted from you was love, definitely not pity. I guess, unfortunately, that 's exactly what I am going to get. See God thought that since I was so coward that I never expressed how much I loved you, he gave me an opportunity to tell you what I felt by giving me Leukemia (if you don't know what that is just google it please and if you have done it then you must be knowing what that is by now). So pretty boy I m going to die and the doctors said I only have one or two months left with me. I cried a lot after hearing this, perhaps for months and then I became angry. I was shouting, yelling and telling the only people to leave me alone who loved me like no one else. My parents. I thought they can't understand what I am going through but I never tried to understand that my pain is going to end sooner or later while theirs will remain forever. Because even if the world or you would never know who I was, I will be cherished by my parents forever. I never noticed their swollen eyes, the sadness in them and their constant effort to be with me which I realized while writing these letters to you. You don't have to feel guilty for not even noticing me because you cannot force someone to feel what you feel.

The only thing I would regret that even though you never liked me but my parents always told me that there will be a guy in my life who would love me with all his heart and soul. Who would feel content with me by his side. Sadly, I will never get the opportunity to meet him. To feel what it is like to be loved back. It's kind of unfair but that's what life is, totally and completely unfair.

You taught me that if I can love someone this much then I can love myself even more. And that's exactly what I am doing which makes me feel at peace when I am nearing my death now.Thank you for coming into my life because you taught me something. I hope that you find someone one day who would love you more than me (which by the way is quite impossible ;))and you would love her back as much. Just remember that my feelings were so much pure and unconditional for you My Crush.

P.S.: You are cordially invited to the funeral of Miss Amaya S. Bhardwaj (yes, that's what my name is and whenever that's going to happen). Please wear that dazzling smile of yours which I always went crazy for instead of tears of pity or guilt. And don't ever tell my parents about my feelings for you. They'll beat the sh*t out of you. :D Goodbye.