in the shadows · akutagawa ryunosuke x reader

a d o r e

adore (əˈdɔː/, verb) - love and respect (someone) deeply.

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"I found you..." I whispered into Ryu's chest. His whole body was shaking and I could tell his breath was unsteady as well. When I tried to move and look at him, he only hugged me tighter.

"You got your memories back?" he asked and I nodded my head silently. None of us said a word, we stayed quiet for a moment before Ryu spoke again.

"Why... why were you looking for me..." he mumbled as he hid his face deeper into my neck. I stroked the back of his head and with all strength I had, I forced him to look at me. That's when I saw something very unexpected. He was crying... no, Ryu was literally sobbing. Tears were falling from his eyes like a waterfall. Shocked, I blinked a couple of times before kissing away his salty tears.

"Fitzgerald was right... You won't be safe with me, [Y/N]." he breathed out. I looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"Ryu, what are you saying?" I asked and scanned his face. His cheeks were wet with the tears, they glistened in the lampost's yellow light. Ryu rested his forehead on mine and breathed slowly.

"I've only put you in danger ever since we met. You nearly died a week ago because of me... I shouldn't... I shouldn't have-"

"Please, don't say such things." I cut him off but he only shook his head and kept speaking.

"No, [Y/N]. It's true. Now that I destroyed their headquarters, they'll try to hunt me down even harder. If you're with me, you're in danger as well." He said as tears were streaming down his face. I've never seen Ryu in such state. I've never seen him cry, yet here I was - watching him bawling his eyes out.

"I'm sorry [Y/N]. I'm so sorry." he repeated with cracking voice that broke my heart in half. I let him bury his head in my shoulders and waited until he stopped crying.

"I'm such a failure. I can't even protect the one I love the most..." he whispered, probably hoping I didn't hear what he said. But it wasn't his lucky day. I forcefully moved him away from me and looked him straight in the eyes.

"Ryunosuke, stop it right now." I said in a serious tone. His eyes widened when he heard me saying his full name which has never happened before. "You did everything you could to protect me and trust me when I say I don't feel safe anywhere but when I'm with you. And I want to be with you, even if it means I'll have to risk some things." I stated.

"That's the thing, [Y/N] - I don't want you to risk anything. All I care about is your safety." he said and grabbed my hands. I squeezed them gently and kissed his knuckles.

"And I already told you I only feel safe when I'm beside you, right?" I whispered. When none of us said a word for a couple of seconds, I rested my head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. It was beating at furiously fast pace before, but now it has eased out. I exhaled calmly and completely relaxed. Ryu placed his hand on my chin and lifted my head up. He looked me in the eyes and slowly closed the gap between our lips, giving me one of the most gentle kisses. I closed my eyes and melted into his touch as his hand travelled to my cheek.

"I love you, [Y/N]." he said when he broke the kiss. I smiled at him and kissed his cheek.

"Now you got the chance to say it first."