You know I wonder why I do the things I do.
Why do I get mad at people for little things but I don't get mad when they completely fuck me over half the time.
Why is it that sometimes I'm afraid to interact with someone I know and others time I'll walk up to a stranger and tell them they look wonderful today.
I'm a confusing person and I'm trying to learn to accept that.
Recently I've been thinking back to what one of my old teachers told me.
I don't remember exactly what were were talking about at the time but he went over to me and said " You know, your not like these others kids, You aren't so caught in needless drama, you aren't rude to everyone just because you feel like it. Your special, remember that. "
At the time, he was kinda right. I didn't care to be mad or angry at anyone. I was for the most part nice. But I feel like if he saw me now he would be dissppointed.
He was a great man, He was always nice to me. I wish I could go over to my old school and thank him. Maybe I will someday.
Maybe I should go back to how I use to be.
Try and be nicer to people.
Hm.
No one actually cares about what I'm saying right now but I'll continue talking.
I really want to be a musician one day.
Music is beautiful and I want to be apart of it.
But what would I do?
My voice is mediocre.
I can't play guitar well.
I can't play any other instrument.
Dreams don't come true. Maybe I'll be in a trashy band in highschool and play in someones garage. That'd be cool.
I annoy you don't I.
I can tell.
I try to make little jokes and I think I'm funny but I can tell it makes you annoyed. I'll stop. And I'm sorry.
I should probably give up on the whole friend scene.
Everyone of my friends I have right now aren't gonna be there in a few years.
You always think they will be but the same thing always happens. You drift apart. Then you don't talk. And then boom. Nothing.
But for now you'll be the ones who saved my life. Litterally. And I'll enjoy it while it lasts.
I love you.
Wow Great job Bern's that's was fucking emo.
