Commodore

Chapter 6: Love

When Rev woke, the MedBay lights were dimmed, which told her it was nighttime, at least for her shift. The other half of MedBay would still be bright, but to let people sleep they always dimmed one half.

Kirk was fast asleep, his head on the side of her bed again, his hand still gently holding hers. Rev realized, as she turned her head, that she could move, though it hurt more than it had before. Painfully, Rev slipped her left hand behind her and pushed herself up. Minee was on the bed next to her, the stump that was once her hand wrapped tightly in once-white gauze, now a deep blood red. Rev tried not to think about that too much.

Slowly, she edged her right hand from Kirk's grip, and brushed her bangs from her forehead, tracing the spot Kirk had. She felt tingly and didn't know why, and let her hand drop. Her side was bandaged with the same gauze as Minee's hand, except it was stained dark green instead of maroon. Slowly, she tried to stand up without waking Kirk, but before she could stand he shifted beneath her and groggily woke up.

Rev stared at him as he woke, unsure how to feel. She didn't know what to say. Instead, she limped towards the food machine and grabbed some water. She drank it all, feeling the cool, refreshing liquid down her stinging throat. She chugged three cups before she realized someone was standing behind her.

"What did you mean by that?" asked Kirk quietly. She couldn't tell if he was whispering to keep from waking Minee, so no one would hear her, or some other reason that she didn't understand.

"By what?" she asked, even though she knew exactly what he meant. Putting down her glass, Rev turned around. Kirk was only a few feet behind her, his hair completely disheveled. He still looked half asleep, but his eyes were awake, anxious.

"You know what I mean," he said. She'd never seen him nervous before, he wasn't that type of person. It was unsettling, but also kind of sweet. "You underestimate me?"

Rev sighed, her expression as unemotional as usual. Inside, though, she was feeling a lot.

"I meant that I don't know how to love, Jim. I don't know what I'm doing. But I'd like to try, you know? I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm not my brother, and I'm not Vulcan. I'm human, too, and I don't really care what Vulcans think of me. If I cared, there is no way I'd have survived on Vulcan. I want to try, Jim, that's what I meant. And, as far as liking goes in the Vulcan world, I like you a lot."

Kirk stared at her. For a very long time. So long that she thought she'd broken him, and almost became worried for his wellbeing, until he smiled. It was a brilliant smile, even though what she was saying wasn't necessarily a great thing.

"What?" she asked, confused. Why was he so happy?

"Okay," he said, which didn't answer her question. "That was a better answer than I could have hoped for. So--"

"One more thing," Rev said. She felt like she had to get this one out before anything happened; if he was just using her, then there was no way anything was going to work. She didn't know how humans worked, maybe they liked to play with people's feelings, and she wouldn't really put it above Kirk. "I know you've slept with a lot of people, Jim. Everyone does. And if I'm just one of those people, you've seen earlier that I can get angry, and you don't want to have an angry Vulcan on your hands. I don't want to be another person added to that list, and I won't be. But, if that's not what you're saying, if you're really a nice person like I think you are, then yes, I'd love to try, Jim. I would. It just might not be as easy as you would like it to be."

Jim's smile had fallen from his face, but he still looked happy, soft.

"I promise I'm not just trying to sleep with you, Rev. I haven't done that in years, I was a stupid child back then. And I know it's not in your nature to love, so I understand if this doesn't work out. I've prepared for it. I didn't think I'd get this far."