When I'm with you

Chapter 26

It had been nine years since that incident happened, and yet the wounds in everyone's hearts still hadn't completely healed: Uncle Mike, who would always have a missing piece in his heart after Aunt Anne’s passing; Gab, the one who was still carrying the regret of being unable to save his mother who died right in front of him; and me, the one who deeply regretted being unable to help Gab from the misery that he had been carrying throughout his life.

After I learned that Gab was having terrible nightmares every night, the agony in my heart grew stronger. How could I not have noticed that he was in pain even though it was obviously written on his face? Why was I always oblivious to these kinds of things?

I had always wanted to tell him that it wasn't his fault, and that no one was blaming him for that. No one wanted it to happen. Gab was just merely a victim of that unfortunate situation. To think that he had been carrying that heavy burden from such a young age until now that he was a teenager, I couldn’t help but be amazed by his strength in handling everything alone, even though his life practically stopped having any value for him ever since that day.

All those years, he had always been alone. Now that I was back in his life, there was finally someone who could tell him to stop. He had already suffered enough; it was now time for him to move on and to forget. I’d be there to bear all of his pain. I’d be there to fix his shattered heart. I’d be there to stay by his side so that he wouldn't be alone anymore.

There were a lot of things that I wanted to tell him; things that I had been keeping to myself for all those years. I wanted to share with him all of my memories from when we were apart, you know, to catch up with each other. But it all seemed impossible now. How could I tell him about those happy memories when I knew that he was suffering while I was enjoying myself? How could I tell him that I had made friends with different people when I knew that he had always been alone? As much as I wanted him to know everything about me, I couldn't, because that would have been like pouring salt onto his wound.

Everyone in school was celebrating after the announcement that we would be having a long weekend: we were all staying home from Thursday to Sunday. As I made my way to the pool, all I could hear was everyone's plans for this little break from school. It was kind of annoying since all I was going to do was stay in the house. Well, I'd rather rest at home than use my energy for fun. Call me a killjoy, but I needed to conserve my energy for the upcoming competition. I couldn't bear to lose and humiliate myself again. I had been working hard to prove to myself that I could win. My victory wasn't just dedicated to myself, but to those people who believed and supported me, too.

As I walked through the hallway, I spotted a tall gloomy dark-haired guy who was making his way to the parking lot. Obviously, it was Gab. He looked worn out: his shoulders sagged, his hair was a mess. He carelessly walked through the crowd like he didn't care whoever he bumped into. It was weird how those people (mostly girls) giggled and blushed instead of getting angry at him. I guess they thought it was a privilege to be able to bump into him since it meant body contact with the ever so famous Gabriel Clark.

I tried to call him and yelled his name but he didn't seem to hear me. I tried to chase him but the path was so narrow because of the crowd, so I didn't have the chance to pursue him. Seeing Gab in that state made my heart ache. His behavior was getting more and more peculiar.

I stopped for a moment before getting ready for swimming practice. I had to get myself together. I couldn't let them see my long face and worry about me. I probably looked creepy as I stood there, practicing what kind of smile to show them. I kept stretching my lips sideways, from a mischievous smirk to an all-out grin and vice versa, and I swear if someone saw me they would have backed off carefully, thinking I was going crazy. Just as I said those things in my head, someone suddenly ruffled my hair. I turned to see who it was and wasn't surprised to see Sean.