Life Ends, Love Stays (A Moey Fanfic)

Chapter 24 - Happiness

Meghan's POV

Yet another car ride was spent in silence. And through another silence, I thought about my death. This time, my mind raced to the future, to after my death. This time, I didn't think about the people around me. I didn't think about what would happen to them, what they would do, how they would go on. This time, I thought about me.

"Can I plan my funeral?" I said, cutting the silence. I looked over at Joey as the car came to a halt at the red light. His face was turned away from me, so I couldn't see him. I watched as his cheeks turned a slight red colour, for as much as I could see of his cheeks. His hand flew up to his cheek and I watched as he swiped it quickly and brought it back down, quietly sniffling in the process.

I had just then realized my mistake. Just then realized it was the complete wrong time to ask. We had just drove away from a saddening situation in the hospital. Instead of trying my best to make Joey happier, I again made him sadder. My mind raced for things to say, specific things that could make him feel better. The thougt of happiness and creating happiness seemed so difficult at the moment. Every last drop of happiness seemed to be drained from us to the point where we are only running on hope.

"I wanna put the 'fun' back in 'funeral!" I chuckled, trying to lighten the dark mood. Joey tried to let out a chuckle, still turned away from me. His chuckle turned into a small yelp which made my forced smile turn into a saddened frown. I watched as Joey's hands repositioned nervously on the wheel. His breathing as nervous as his hand movements.

The car stopped once again after a couple minutes of silence. Except for the sound of Joey's silent sobs. Joey brought his hands up from the wheel to wipe his moist face. He swallowed again, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat, "What do you...um," he cleared his throat, "have in mind?" He breathed deeply, grateful that he could finish the sentence without sobbing.

"I don't know," I shrugged, trying to cover up my emotional instability as well, blinking back the tears as the appeared at my water line, "Bright colours, music, dancing... food!" I laughed, trying to bring back the atmosphere of our old conversations. The way we laughed to together, instead of crying together.

I looked over at Joey's tear stained face, hoping to see an ounce of cheerfulness behind his swollen eyes. Unfortunately, the feeling of happiness seemed to be forever lost in his blue-green orbs. I sat there wondering what it would be like if I wasn't in this condition. The places we'd go, the conversations we'd have, the things we'd do.

As we drove, Joey finally spoke up, "That sounds great!" He finally smiled, and I lit up inside. Watching the way his lips curved up at the edges made my lips mimic his. We continued discussing the look of my funeral. I wasn't content with the idea of death, but I was for sure content with the look of my funeral. My family and friends all gathered into one happy place, singing happy songs, seeing happy colours, talking about all the happy things I did in my life. See the trend: happiness. Because it's really something people take for granted. Especially when they're faced with the feeling of utter despair and sadness, they realize what happiness really means to them.

The rest of the conversation would be something I'd remember for the rest of my short-lived life. It was one of the truest moments of happiness I had ever felt. I felt it behind me as I walked up to our house, clinging onto my skin. My eyes widened, my shoulders rose, and my steps quickened. Happiness really does change people, almost in the same was sadness does.

A/N sorry I haven't updated in forever. Just a bunch of things going on, good and bad and blah blah blah. So here's a random chapter I wrote because I couldn't think of anything else at the moment. Sorry.