Look To The Stars

You Don't Know Me

Harry opened the gate and walked in carrying a lot of wood under his arms and Louis followed with a bag with the name ‘Armani’ written across it. Liam and Zayn stumbled behind with a single bag from Toys R Us and Liam had a Batman action figure in hand. Three of them looked ashamed and Harry was scowling, as usual. “What the hell happened to you guys?” Louis asked.

“Oh…um…nothing.” I said while frantically trying to remove all the sand from my hair and face. “Doesn’t look like it! NIALL WAS GETTIN’ SOME!” Louis shouted while thrusting his hips into the air. “Was not!” “It’s okay Niall! I think all of us are reasonably proud.” Louis said while high-fiving Liam. The other two didn’t seem as pleased with the scene they just walked in on. Nothing had happened but I guess they had reason to believe differently. “Nothing happened…but um, where did you guys all go?” “We went to Toys R Us and got this amazing action figure!” “You mean YOU went to Toys R Us and got that amazing action figure. I followed you around for as long as I could stand it then left for a smoke.” Zayn said while rolling his eyes at Liam. “Well, I had fun. Thanks for asking Mea!”

“I went up the street to Armani Exchange and bought you this coat.” Louis set down his bag and reached in to pull out a black peacoat that looked really warm but too expensive. “You didn’t have to buy me a coat! I had one in the limo.” I said while gawking at the $450 price tag. “I know, but you looked really cold before and I wanted to buy you one so, here.” He held out the jacket for me to put on and I couldn’t even begin to think about standing and actually putting it on. “Come on then! Try it on! I didn’t know your size so I just guessed. I want to see if it fits!” “Louis…” “Told you she knew my name.” he mumbled to Zayn. “Are you going to put on this coat or are we going to have to make you?” Louis said with a growing smirk on his face. “You shouldn’t have spent that much money on me. It might take me a while to pay you back…” “Stay with me cause I’m quite quick and 5, 6, 7, 8!”

Suddenly Zayn, Liam, and Louis rushed towards me before pulling me to my feet and forcing me into the coat. Liam grabbed my arms and forced them through the sleeves then Louis held my arms behind me. “What the hell?! LET ME GO!” Zayn came in front of me and buttoned the front before tying the waist straps neatly and then suddenly my arms were freed. “What the fuck just happened?!” “Well, you see Mea, it’s not complicated really. We’ve just put on your coat for you.” “Yeah, no shit Sherlock! I can see that!” I said while looking down at the overpriced coat that was now fitted on my body. “Are you quite finished?” “No!” “Ok, good. Harry can you start the fire?” Harry’s eyes were fixated on my body. He was eyeing me up and down like he had the first time he saw me in the dressing room. The glare frightened me and I quickly looked away. He snapped out of it at the same moment and started walking towards the fire pit. “Oh, right. Sure.”

“Thank you Louis.” I said while avoiding eye contact. “You’re very welcome.” Niall reached from behind me and slightly tugged on my hand to get my attention. “Sit with me?” “She’s had 45 minutes to sit with you! I want to sit with her! I didn’t even get to sit with her in the limo.” Zayn said before pouting his lips and sitting down on a blanket on the opposite side of the fire pit. “I’m still mad about what just happened so no.” I sat next to Niall before I was picked up from behind. Liam’s strong arms held me to his chest as he carried me around the fire and next to Zayn where he set me down. “Ok, guess I’m sitting over here then.”

Niall looked at me from where he was sitting and quietly chuckled to himself and shook his head. “I hope the two of you will be entertaining at least if you expect me to sit with you instead of my date.” “Oh, definitely!” Liam said excitedly. “Why are you always so happy?” I said while smiling at him. “Why not?” I admired but envied his overall demeanor. Nothing seemed to get him down. “So where are you all from? Your accents are different…” “I’m from Doncaster!” “I’m from Holmes Chapel.” “I’m from Mullingar!” “I’m from Bradford.” “And I’m from Wolverhampton.” Liam said while leaning in closer to me. Should I know where those places are? “UK” they all said in unison. “Oh.” I said quietly to myself as I suddenly felt embarrassed for not knowing. Harry finally got the fire going and instantly the area felt comfortably warm.

“Thank you all for tonight.” “You don’t have to thank us! It seems as though you needed a break from whatever is going on in your life anyways.” Louis said while smiling widely at me. “I don’t know how I could possibly repay you; especially for this coat.” “For starters, you tell us why you had that sudden outburst in the car.” “HARRY!” Niall shouted from the other side of the fire pit. “What?! You were wondering too. All of you were wondering. I don’t like wondering. Tell us Mea.” “Don’t feel forced to tell us anything Mea. If you aren’t comfortable telling us then that’s fine. I’m sure he’ll live if he doesn’t know.” Liam said while wrapping his arm around my shoulders as if to comfort me. “Tell us Mea. Did somebody break your heart? Oh you poor thing.” Harry said sarcastically while glaring at me with his dark, green eyes. “What is your problem?! She’s never done anything to you so why are you acting like this towards her?!” Liam shouted at him and suddenly his aura changed. He was now protecting me just as if I were one of his own. “Why don’t you let her talk? I want to hear her answer. You’re always trying to protect someone. Back off and let her speak for herself.” I sat in the middle of an argument trying to formulate the right things to say in my head before I spoke. “I’m warning you Harry. Stop.” Liam said sternly and I could feel his body get tense beside me. “No, I’ll answer him. Let me answer Liam.” I said while pulling his arm off of my shoulder.

“Do you want to know what happened to me Harry? I’ll tell you. My father walked out on my mother when I was young and she raised me by herself. I had nothing growing up because my mom couldn’t afford to do anything extra for me. I always wanted a man to take care of me and make me feel okay even if I wasn’t. I wanted someone who could make me forget about where I came from and make me excited for my future and that’s what I found in Daniel a couple years ago. We became friends and he was the first person to see all my flaws but he accepted me as I was. He made me better and he became my everything. We started dating and the stars seemed brighter and the days seemed better and I felt ok for once. He started seeing someone else while he was with me and I didn’t find out until about a week ago after it had been going on for 4 months. He left me for someone else and had no reservations about it. He left me and he didn’t apologize. Every day I wake up, Harry, and hope to God that I will die. I cut my wrists every night before I go to bed. I carve this D into one wrist and just cut the other. You want to know why I cut myself Harry? It’s the only thing that lets me know that I’m still alive in this fucked up world. It’s the only time I feel anything and no one can take the razors away from me and they’ll never leave me. I hurt all the time. Do you know what that’s like Harry? To pray for death or to watch the blood drain from your wrists or to be addicted to the feeling of pain? You don’t know me Harry. Can you take me home now? I want to go home.”