Look To The Stars

Something For Her

“Oh my God…” I came back to reality quickly and noticed that my wrist was facing upwards in his pale hands. “Mea…” He stared at my wrist tracing over the various scars with every glance. I gasped and snatched my arm away quickly before the other 4 boys noticed his state of shock. “It’s nothing.”

“How did you get these scars Mea?” He said with an incredibly flat tone. “It’s nothing Niall. Just leave it alone.” “No. I’m not going to sit here and ignore the fact that you have fresh cuts covering the entire length of your forearm. Please let me help you…” Niall pleaded with a noticeably shaky voice. “I don’t need your help! I’m fine okay! Look, you don’t know me and I don’t know you. You are in no place to judge me.” “I want to know you Mea! Don’t you see that? I wouldn’t have brought you here if I didn’t.” I just looked away as I felt the tears starting to fall down the sides of my cheeks. I could feel the other boys staring at me, even Louis who was right next to me.

“Hey, are you alright Mea? I’m sorry if we’ve ruined this for you. I promise we didn’t mean to.” Liam stated apologetically. “Yeah, please don’t let us ruin your night love. We don’t mean to come off rude.” Zayn said while extending his hand and making room on the seat next to him. “You can sit here with me and Liam if you want.”

I couldn’t even look at any of them. I promised myself earlier that I wouldn’t let them see that I was weak. I wanted them to believe that I was confident and outgoing and amazing even though I knew I wasn’t. Louis put his arm around me and hugged me to his chest tightly and I guessed that was my cue to let my guard down. I fell limp in his arms as I let all of my frustration and sadness come out with every sob. I felt as though at that moment I was reliving every bad feeling I had ever had in life that I never expressed. I was breaking down in front of five beautiful strangers and I couldn’t possibly have been any more vulnerable.

I overheard someone speaking. “Excuse me, sir?” “Yes Mr. Styles?” “Please stop the car.” “Is there anything wrong Mr. Styles?” No sir. We’re fine. Just please pull over.” “Sure Mr. Styles”

I felt the car come to a complete stop but I still couldn’t bring myself to look at the boys’ faces and explain myself. I had never had to explain myself to anyone because no one ever wanted to know. These boys deserved an explanation though; that’s the least I could give them. I tried to calm myself by listening to Louis’ steady heartbeat and the rhythm of his slow breaths. With his arms wrapped around me I felt safe and I didn’t want to lose that feeling. When I began to pay more attention to my surroundings, I could hear someone else crying. I could feel Niall’s body trembling next to mine as he struggled to breathe evenly. Why would he cry for me? He doesn’t even know me. “I’m so sorry Emelia. I don’t know what’s happened to you but I know you didn’t deserve any of it.”

I felt Louis take in a deep breath before he began singing all too familiar lyrics sweetly and softly into my ear.

I remember tears streaming down your face when I said, "I'll never let you go"; when all those shadows almost killed your light. I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone." But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight.

I cried more and more into his chest and he never loosened his grip around my body.

Just close your eyes; the sun is going down. You'll be alright; no one can hurt you now. Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound.

He rocked me back and forth in his arms as if I were a child and the motion soothed me. I could feel my breaths leveling and the tears slowed but still I couldn’t pick myself up. I felt Niall take in a similar deep breath beside me before he continued what Louis had started.

Don't you dare look out your window, darling, everything's on fire. The war outside our door keeps raging on. Hold on to this lullaby; even when music's gone, gone.

Louis continued to rock me back and forth in his arms to the slow rhythm of the lullaby. Their voices were angelic and consoling. They made me feel content and suddenly all my fears and reservations escaped me.

Just close your eyes; the sun is going down. You'll be alright; no one can hurt you now. Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound.

I felt as though what they were singing was not just for my comfort, but to express that they were there for me which is exactly what I needed. I shifted my body and hugged Louis back in the best way that I could and he held me strongly and wouldn’t let go until I did. I then turned and hugged Niall in a similar fashion and he held me and cried into my shoulder. The feeling was indescribable. I do believe that to know someone’s weaknesses is to know them in the deepest sense. They now had seen me in my weakest state and I saw Niall in his. That brought us closer together and made me believe that our relationship would go far beyond this night.

Once I let go of Niall and actually saw his face, I could see that his eyes were swollen and red and his face had turned red as well. His eyes were still just as blue and sensitive as they were before but they were different somehow. We looked into each other’s eyes and then laughed while wiping away stray tears. I hugged him again but this time I whispered a soft “Thank you” into his ear and he replied saying “Any time love.”

I let Niall go and observed the expressions of the other 4 boys in the vehicle and they all had a similar sympathetic look. “I’m sorry for my little…um…outburst.” I said with a nervous chuckle.

“Please don’t apologize love.” “Yeah, we don’t want to see you cry. We’d like to help if we can.” Zayn said. I didn’t want to believe it but all of them looked sincere and I couldn’t help but mutter a soft “thank you” to all of them.

Harry looked away then abruptly got out of his seat and moved towards the driver. He whispered something in the man’s ear and then suddenly we were moving. “I’m sorry but I don’t know if I still feel good enough to go out to dinner. Especially when I look like this…” I said as I looked at my reflection in the window and saw my completely ruined makeup. “You look gorgeous love” Louis whispered in my ear. “We aren’t going out to dinner anyways.” Harry said while looking seriously at me. “What the hell? I need food Harry. I never agreed to this!” “Yeah, I’m pretty hungry too.” Liam said while clutching his stomach. “Don’t worry about it. It’ll be something for her.”