Sorry if I ruined everything.
Sorry if you only thought I liked you as a friend.
Now you know,
But I sure as hell didn’t tell you.
So this is when you need to tell me how you know.
I don’t know if someone told you,
Or if I was just too obvious.
I am so sorry,
I can’t help my feelings.
You were so nice,
And I was so miserable.
All I feel for you now is regret.
I can’t help the feelings now,
I want to cry,
I want to fall into you,
But you don’t need me,
Nor do you want me.
Maybe that’s the hardest part of all of this,
I feel for the wrong guy (again),
Knowing he would never feel the same.
I trusted you,
I thought I knew you well enough,
And I thought you were capable of falling too.
You’re too careful,
And you are too involved with anyone but me.
I knew you wouldn’t ever feel the same,
And now you know I feel differently.
You looked right at me emotionless a week ago,
Did you know then?
What are you going to do now?
Run and tell your friends,
Or stay quiet.
I keep wishing that you will do all the things like in the movies;
Confess your love,
Tell me its okay,
Sing a stupid love song,
Find a way to understand,
Or at least talk to me.
Stop looking at me like a corpse!
I know I might be dead to you,
But please understand that these feelings take time to go away.
I am trying so hard to get over it,
God I have destroyed any hope of keeping you as a friend.
But do you realize the hell of all this?
Its torture having you ignore me.
Please just say something,
Anything.
You once made me feel so alive,
Now you make me wish I was dead.
Why do I have to be such a foolish girl?
Rejection hurts.
I often find myself wondering what life would be like if I didn’t ruin everything?
How do you even know?
I once wrote about why you were so amazing to me,
But now you leave me broken.
In my mind I see it like you invited me in,
You made me smile,
Laugh even.
Then you let go sometimes,
But you always came back.
Of course I was never upset you left,
I just needed you like I need medication.
So now you know that I like you,
And you’re gone forever like a runaway.
I can’t believe what anyone tells me,
My mind will not listen to anyone but you.
I’m so brainwashed.
So even though I know you don’t feel the same,
I won’t even listen to myself.
Please tell me to go away,
I’ll be obedient.
If you tell me anything else,
I don’t think I could believe it.
I’m ignored,
You don’t want to talk to me.
You don’t want anything to do with me,
And now you know so I am “one of those girls”.
So I am assuming in your mind I am just another head over heels girl,
But I am really not.
I can handle this,
But I can’t handle being treated like shit.
I can’t handle being ignored,
Sorry I’m not that strong.
I don’t have a crush on you because I am lonely,
Or just because you are that cute guy at school.
You are the first person I have ever liked because;
You didn’t always treat me like this,
You would look at me,
You spoke to me,
You never let me doubt myself,
And you didn’t ever slam the door this hard.
You need to see this wasn’t how I planned it,
I really did just think of you as my friend.
I realized how amazing it would be to allow myself to fall,
Fall freely into open arms,
But these arms aren’t open,
So I just fell.
I am hopeless now.
They all don’t know what is wrong with me,
I am hypnotized.
I can’t eat,
Sleep,
Dream,
And I cannot function properly.
You are such an asshole.
Grow some balls to face me,
Because I am so tired of waiting for something that I know will never happen.
When you can talk to me,
That is when this all ends.
I will keep your secrets if you keep mine.
