Playing With Bullets

Chapter 4: Lost and Found

I stood in the parking lot, flummoxed. I had no idea where I was. I had been wandering around for nearly half an hour but still couldn't find the Blackpink van. Had they left without me?

I wandered further into the indoor parking lot, searching for the white suburban we usually drove in. My footsteps echoed in the vast expanse. Every now and then I saw a person who I would try to avoid by lowering my head. I avoided fans as much as possible. If one found me, they would all find me.

I was disappointed I didn't get to watch BTS's performance. Although my feelings for them offstage had changed, I still saw them as talented performers. They had once inspired me, which was why I had dated Rapmonster. Infact, I had been the one to make the first move on him, but he was the one who had enacted the break up.

I was used to being the one in control during a relationship. Just by being sweet I could wrap boys around my finger. These days though, nothing was going as I wanted it to. BTS's new song had ended up topping our song in the charts. Taehyung, who I thought I could be friends with, had obviously different plans. Their whole group was bringing Blackpink down.

I sighed in frustration. With my back against a van, I looked out across the sea of cars.

"You lost?", Someone asked me from behind.

I whirled around to face whoever had spoken. Somehow I had let someone sneak up on me, and it was worse than just a fan. My eyes met Kim Namjoon, the monster himself.

My face lit up into a smile. "Nammie!", I gasped happily.

I ran up to his side like a lost dog. Sure things were awkward between us. Sure I disliked him. Sure I was in a terrible mood. But Kim Namjoon was the most responsible person I knew, besides my manager. If he couldn't help me, no one could. I might as well be polite.

"Hey, long time no see.", Namjoon answered smoothly. Always so cool...

He made a grunting noise as I tackled him in a hug. He lightly patted my back. I could hear him chuckling, and shaking his head above my own.

"I'm glad things are still ok with us.", He responded to my affection.

"Of course! I don't hold grudges.", I laughed.

"Yes you do. You just need my help, right?", Nammie asked drily, patting my head.

I shrugged and gave him a big smile. The kind of smile that made my eyes crinkle up and teeth take up half my face. He couldn't reject lil' ol me.

"Well I actually can't help right now, Jisoo. I need to get to the van. I promised the boys I'd buy them kogi after our performance."

My face fell. He must have felt guilty because he quickly added to his statement.

"Maybe you can come along? I'll buy you something as a sorry for breaking up with you over the phone."

I hesitated before nodding, forcing another grin. We started walking down the row of cars. An awkward silence hung in the air between us. The longer we walked next to each other the more memories came flooding back, as much as I tried to stop them.

At night we would sneak out of our dorms just to see eachother. I remember racing through dark parking lots with our fingers entwined, back when the only light we could see was that of the moon and distant street lamps.

Our faces would just barely avoid the camera flashes of our onlookers, but he and I loved the danger. The thrill of us sneaking into public areas excited me beyond imagination. I'm not sure if it was eachother we loved or the feeling.

His kiss was a drug worse than nicotine. It gave me a rush that should have been illegal.

I would get scared out of my wits the next morning by the mention of idols dating in secret, but we were never caught.

Eventually though we grew up. We became busy. We became distant. We became diconnected.

After all this time, here we were again walking through a crowded parking lot. But this time, we walked slowly. Instead of using our lips to kiss, we used them to actually talk to one another. He asked about my life, I asked about America. The conversation remained calm, without the mention of our past.

Without a doubt Namjoon had changed. He wasn't the same cocky kid I had met back when I was just a trainee. Being a leader had obviously taken a toll him. I immediately understand why he had broken up with me.

We were leaving the dimly lit parking lot and stepping into a sunny day. My attitude towards Namjoon changed with the illumination.

"Namjoon...", I began, unsure of how to start my apology.

Before I could even begin my sentence, he flung his sweatshirt at me. It hit me in the face with a wave of his cologne.

"What-"

"Put that on. You can't be seen with me, remember?", He explained seriously.

I paused to glance down at the clothing in my hands. Holding my breath I slipped it on, but it didn't reek as much as I thought it would. I internally rejoiced that he was such a clean person.

I would have kept walking, but Namjoon grabbed my hood and pulled it over my purple hair.

"Really?", I sighed.

"Of course.", He replied, tugging the strings to tighten it around my face.

We made it to the van parked in front of Music Bank. It appeared they were just waiting for Namjoon and co.

I ambled after him as he approached the open van door. The sixth other members were busy chatting about soccer or something. They didn't notice me behind Namjoon's tall figure until he actually drew attention to me.

"Hey, ready to get food? By the way, I brought a friend."

They all turned, probably expecting to see an idol group member of the same gender. Instead they got me, the beautiful visual of Blackpink, very much female.

Jungkook nearly choked on his own spit again. This time he was joined by Jin, Yoongi, and Jimin. Otherwise, Jhope seemed excited to see me and Taehyung's expression was blank. He seemed to watch us silently, somber about something.

"Nyeongan~ it's me, Kim Jisoo.", I smiled as I tried to brighten the awkward atmosphere.

Jimin whispered into Namjoon's ear. If he was trying to be discreet, it didn't work very well.

"Why'd you bring a girl?", He muttered.

"Why not? Are you scared of her?", Namjoon chuckled clearly for my ears.

Jimin's ears went red at the question, "Hyunggg this was supposed to be just us guys..."

I felt a little bad for interrupting their off time together. Especially for intruding on Taehyung's friendships after just having had such an uncomfortable occurrence with him.

"Don't be rude. The more the merrier.", He interjected, before turning back to me. "Jisoo, this is Jungkook, Jin, Yoongi, Jimin, Hoseok, and Taehyung."

They all waved to me except Taehyung who continued to stare.

Namjoon clapped his hands. "Okay, everyone, get in. I'm driving.", He proclaimed much to the dispair of BTS.

"Maybe I should drive," Yoongi tried to suggest, but Namjoon shoved him into the vehicle.

"Come on, let's go.", He said.

"But we only have 7 seats," Jimin exclaimed.

He was also thrown into the car by Namjoon.

"Double buckle.", Namjoon said seriously.

He crowded us into the van like cattle. I ended up wedged in between Jungkook and Taehyung, feeling very uncomfortable. My reasons being, one, Taehyung wouldn't stop looking at me, two, Jungkook was about to pass out from womanly contact.

Otherwise, the bumpy, trepidatious, and cramped car ride was just lovely.

The Blackpink members and the commercial shoot had been entirely forgotten.