Playing With Bullets

Chapter 21: Coming Clean

Hello, precious readers. I know I don't usually post notes like these at the start of my chapters, but I felt the need to apologize for my two month hiatus. This book is still going, despite it's occasional interruptions, and I'll try to make it as enjoyable as possible while I'm still writing it. That being said, let's begin the awaited chapter...

"And that's why she hates me. She thought I was trying to get her kicked out of Blackpink, but in the end, she got herself kicked out."

When I finished retelling Yejin's history to Taehyung, silence enveloped us. He had been listening to me closely throughout my narrative, occasionally nodding his head, or releasing a shocked breath. But, his face remained deep in thought, leaving his face cold, lifeless, and expressionless. I hesitantly tried to meet his unreadable gaze, which had begun to study my face with interest.

"You're telling me the complete truth?", He asked softly.

"I'm telling you the complete, unedited truth, Taehyung.", I reiterated as genuinely as I could sound.

I released the breath I didn't realize I had been holding when his face burst into his familiar, wide smile.

"If that's all there was to it, you could have just told me earlier Jisoo-ah! Of course I believe you."

He smiled down at me and reached his hand out to ruffle my hair. However, I stepped back, avoiding his touch. Despite Taehyung's acceptance of my past actions, the undying guilt still stayed perpetually in my heart. I had hoped it would fade away once I had confessed, but it hadn't. Bringing back the buried memory of Yejin also resurfaced the feelings I had tried to restrict. I remembered that I had ruined her career before it even began. I could make up excuses, but I was her main problem in the Kpop industry. I was the root of all her evil.

Taehyung hesitantly retracted his rejected hand. "Jisoo, it's fine, I'm not angry you. Let's go talk to Yejin and get her to delete the photos. Then it'll all be over, okay?"

His worried smile broke my heart a little bit.  I was becoming unsure of myself, and he was swiftly catching on. We had come too far for me to falter.

"I can't Taehyung.", I finally admitted, my voice cracking as I said it, "I can't face Yejin right now. I don't think I'll ever be able too. She reminds me of all my faults and mistakes. She makes me feel like a terrible person. She makes me feel like I don't deserve my fame. Like I don't deserve you."

"Woah, woah, woah," Taehyung sighed, trying to steady me before I fell apart. "Don't blame yourself for her actions. You're an amazing person, why else would I be dating you?"

"You dated her once too, didn't you? Didn't you once think she was an amazing person too?"

Taehyung's eyes widened.

"Are you seriously comparing yourself to Yejin right now? You just told me yourself it wasn't your fault she got kicked out."

"Why won't you answer my question? You loved her once. Did you love her the same as you love me now, before she dumped you?", I mumbled.

"I don't know.", He whined, " I-I don't really think about her anymore. It was a while back, okay?"

He hesitated. I instantly knew he was lying to me. Taehyung was terrible at telling lies.

"You cant remember if you have feelings for her...", I sighed softly, before posing a new question. "Then, do you know if you have feelings for her right now?"