"crap! i thought his bag was mine, i'm totally screwed!"
jisoo accidentally slips his notebook in his crush's backpack which unfortunately, is filled with confessions about his undying love for the other.
aLso, svt's comeback literally busted all my nuts and i cannot function
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^^ that isn't even a quarter of what i'm feeling.
jisoo's stomach churned and flipped as he walked to ethics. seungcheol was skipping out today as jeonghan was flying back today and couldn't think of anything else but his beloved boyfriend, leaving jisoo with the paranoid thoughts of bumping into seokmin.
he had been acting pretty emo for a while by wearing hoodies draped over his head, stuffing his hands into his pockets with a blank expression and constantly having music blasting into his ears when walking around campus. everyone around him noticed his difference in character but never said anything. jisoo was just trying to block out everything going wrong in his life.
peaking his head through the doorway, jisoo let out the breath he had been holding in and stepped into the classroom when seokmin wasn't there. jisoo made sure to choose the seat near the back, covering up his face with a mask and ducking his head down to look at the drawings he was doing, which was an actual drawing book he had purchased that morning. filling his notebooks with drawings and doodles was getting annoying since jisoo would usually rip them out at the end.
he hadn't drawn in a while actually and had recently found out it was a good way to relieve stress. jisoo would spend hours after studying, learning how to draw things in more detail and going on google to find good reference pics.
rubbing out an incorrect line he had just drawn, jisoo could finally see the drawing coming together. it was a hand elegantly holding a cigarette that was wedged between its fingers. the grey smoke whisked off the page, smudged with lead. there was no colour to be seen; it represented jisoo's mood.
it was still so pathetic and jisoo told himself that every day for the past two weeks. he dumbly and blindly lent his heart to someone, thinking that they could possibly return the favour even if the never interacted. he expected seokmin to be his one day, secretly calling dibs on the younger selfishly. and it was because of his stupid thoughts, jisoo found himself drained of life. he felt dull every day and had no energy. the drawing was an embodiment of jisoo.
the cigarette and seokmin worked the same. the moment you expose yourself to it, you find yourself becoming addicted. you keep treating yourself to more and more to the point where you can't stop. when you try to quit, you get depressed; the craving for it is stronger than ever. you feel incomplete and you just want the warmth back. it made you feel alive even if it was destroying you from the inside out. you just couldn't live without it.
jisoo was addicted to seokmin, he was like a drug. he pulled jisoo in with his alluring character and kept him where he was. the moment jisoo wanted to discard his feelings, he longed for seokmin. he recalled when they were pressed up against each other in the rain and the way they kissed moments after. it was literally killing jisoo from the inside out, starting off with his shattered heart and ending with the lifeless expression he had on every day.
