Accepting Reality

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Back to the Basics Baby

Today was the day, the horrible dreadful day I have been dreading….that did not make any sense. Whatever, it’s too early for worthless things like thinking. Yes I know what you are thinking, why am I so grumpy? Well I’ll give you a hint. It is not the weekend and SpongeBob is not there to soothe me. So shut your trap. Gosh I always wondered how people drink and put up with hangovers! I have something like that as well; it’s called a Lack of Coffee disorder.  It’s when I do not get my morning coffee in my mouth fast enough. Every passing minute without my wonderful delicious cup of coffee puts the whole world at risk to my wrath. See? This is the work of a morning mind. No, correction the mind of a person who does not WANT TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL AFTER BREAK!

I practically skip over to my dresser to get dressed. Man, what the fuck is up with my conflicting moods? Arg. Forget it.

~Some Time later~

As I am sitting in my English class, my favorite class drumming my fingers on the tiny college desks. I swear these things get even smaller every single fucking year, or it is I who gets bigger? Nah, I shrug out that thought. I’ve been the same size since junior year, so that’s not it. While I am here thinking away, a certain person is standing in front of my desk, shadowing my desk with their presence. I notice how my desk suddenly went dark “Is this seat taken?” asks a voice.

I look up and immediately my eyes goes wide, recovering quickly I say, “Yup, it is, sorry better luck next time.”  I said smiling wide at him. He narrows his eyes at me, he says “the professor said you don’t have assigned seats.” I look at him frozen. Trying to act like I’m not in any way affected.  He grins in victory or so it seems, though I am confused what exactly did he win? A chance to be on Ash’s hit list? Just kidding, I have no hit list…..yet. So he decides to takes the seat next to me while giving me a big smile.  Oh fucking horray, throw a party why don’t you.

So to get to his seat on the left of me…he had to wiggle his behind in front of me, not that I looked, mind you. But I may have peeked…just a little though. Damn you hormones! So while he was adjusting to his seat, I on the other hand was trying to plot of ways of murdering him to keep my mind from wandering off to a certain someone’s nice behind.  Anyways, Cyanide? Nah, too much research. Guns =Too much noise. A mute?  Nah. Waste of money. OOH I GOT IT! It’s the perfect plan!

The butter sock, yes, you heard me correctly. It is a flawless plan.  This is the action where I place cold hard butter into a sock and voila! I have a flinging mechanism! Weapons from dangerous people and insanely hot specimens too.  Genius I know! Okay you got me…I may have got the idea from an episode of iCarly.  But in my defense, it was a wonderful idea! Cheap, fast and insanely easy! It couldn’t get better! Mr. Butt-face, you are about to face what you have never dealt with before, be prepared to meet your doom! MUAHHHHHHH!

And to the side of me, someone bursts into the extreme ‘I’m- going -to -die- you’re -so –funny’ laughter. I look at him quizzically. What in the world is up with him?

“You know you just said that out loud right?” He says.

On the outside, I may have looked that cool and collected, but on the inside, I was only slightly freaking out.

“Ha, and you didn’t know it either!” he says grinning.

“I have to say Squeaks, I have heard lots of murder plots especially since I want to become a lawyer...but yours? They are just so absurd. he says bursting out laughing again after a while.

“Shut up.” I retort.

“No, no I’m serious! I have never heard of this weapon called the “butter sock” before, but it takes a lot of brain power to think of that one.” He says, clearly trying to mock me about our first meeting. “Death of the butter sock! I can see it on the headlines now.” he says, enjoying this.

“Ha-ha, so funny. Mock me why don’t you?” I say sarcastically.

“Babe, you make it way too easy for me” He says.

“Ahem, attention, class has begun” the english professor said.

~Later on~

“Oh why? This torture! I just can’t take it! This is too much to bear!” I say covering my face with the pillow.

“Ash?” asks Tara, popping her head inside my room.

“Yes?” I say, my voice muffled by the pillow.

“Is everything….okay?” she asks carefully.

“Yes! Everything is just peachy” I say, sarcasm lacing my words.

“Okay then.” She says, proceeding to close the door.

“That’s it? You are not going to question me or anything?” I ask getting up shocked.

“Nope” She says and walks out.

Well there went my ranting session. One of the times I wished she bombarded me with questions, so I can rant and vent. I seem to forget she isn’t Sunni, who would have bombard me with questions until I spilled. But no, this is Tara, who actually gives you space? Like who does that? Where’s Sunni when you need her?

“I AM HOME CHICHAS! AND I BRING PRESENTS. COME HUG ME  AND TELL ME HOW MUCH YOU LOVE ME BITCHES” shouted a voice that I missed so much.

Speak of the devil. Oh Sunni, You always did have wonderful timing.

“Tara! I missed you!” Sunni said to Tara.

“Sunni…go a little easier on that hug okay?” Tara said.

“Oops, sorry. Hey where’s the other one?” Sunni says.

“She’s in her room, sulking and cursing to the world as per usual.” Tara said.

“TARA! You are absolutely useless at this” Sunni says shrugging.

“Yeah about that, turns out replacing you is WAYYYY  harder than I thought it would be.” Tara said.

“Being a mother hen is not all it’s cracked up to be.” Sunni says agreeing.

Oh brother, am I going to get any help out here? I need reinforcements stat.

My door opens, and Sunni slips in inside and instantly hugs the living crap out of me.

“Ash! I missed you!” Sunni says as she cuts off my circulation.

“Which is exactly why you didn’t call at all, am I right?” I say sarcastically.

“Well I missed you on the inside?” Sunni’s says trying to defend herself.

“For once, I’ll let it slide.” I say totally exhausted.

“Great, now spill.” Sunni demanded.

You have got to love how polite best friends can be.

I was wondering, can I get a refund?