heavenly sent hell

chapter 11: Now I Know.

If I spoke from the heart it would make me sound heartless.
~Temachane

My walk home was a tragedy.
Not only because I was reeking of  cheese and alcohol that just escaped someone's mouth but also because I didn't know where I was going.

My phone in my handbag kept buzzing but I didn't bother to check who the messages and calls are from. I just carried on walking.

When I finally got it through my thick scalp that I'm lost, I opened my handbag and reached in for my phone.

I got messages and missed calls from Gwen, Ken, Carlos even Ricardo but none of them were from Logan.

I mean, what was I to expect. Logan was part of this plan why would I expect him to call and worry about my well-being?

I decided not to call anyone and let the GPS direct me to my house.

It was only 12:06am when I reached home.

Everyone was already asleep and I wanted to keep it that way because I didn't want them asking questions.

I opened the door with my spare key, went upstairs and took a shower.

I stood there.

Letting the water run down my curly hair and watching the vomit go down the drain.

This happened on the first week I've been here. I can't even imagine what could happen in the next two years.

If this is my idea of low key then I'd hate to see my idea of the opposite.

"Rouge, honey! Is that you in there?" mom said, snapping me out of my daydream.

"Um, yeah mom! I'm just taking a quick shower!" I said.

"Alright dear. Don't forget to turn off the lights when you get out!"

"Yeah, Ma."

I get out of the shower and dry my hair in front of the mirror, looking at my reflection.

I'm immediately taken back to those days. Those days where I cried less because I had everything I needed.

I wake up from the nightmare with sweat dripping down from my forehead. It's been happening for a while now and I wanted it all to stop.

"Don't worry sweetie. It was just a dream. Go back to sleep." mom said.

She was there. Right next to me. Her curly hair. Her fairly dark skin. Her beautiful sparkling eyes. She was here. Alive.

Even though it wasn't real. I could still feel her.

She was here.

Alive.

"Rouge! Is that you in there?" Davey said.

"Um yeah, it's me." I said wrapping my hair with a towel.

"Well then hurry up, a man's gotta pee!" he said.

I walked out of the bathroom and Davey rushed in, not acknowledging my bloodshot eyes.

This is not how I imagined the day to end. Well I should have known it was going to happen.

What was I thinking? Going to Emily's party when I know she doesn't like me.

I could have turned back but no. I just had to fall for Logan's stupid charm.

Well now I know.

   *

"Rouge, come on wake up!" Gwen yelled which instantly woke me up.