♧
Harry dismissed my question, the one I bluntly asked and regret much. His body froze and stood still in time. The mesmerising moment we both shared was ended so quickly, all magic and passion flew away.
He waved me away like it was all some sort of show, like it was nothing and I felt incredibly stupid and guilty. I thought it was right to ask that moment, but now afterwards I scold myself. I haven't seen him since and being allowed to make dinner, I made it for one person that evening - myself.
The whole moment we witnessed and created is constantly playing over and over in my head. Sleep has still not arrived, my mind is too busy. From his touch to his words; everything kept me wide awake. I exhale frustrated and look up at the ceiling above my bed, the sheets shielding me from the cold. Dim light creates an atmosphere, created by the stars shining outside.
I sit up and push the sheets away, deciding I need a drink to make my dry throat dissapear. Trying to be as quiet as possible, I open the door without much sound. The hallway is dark and all doors are closed. Without putting much pressure on the floor, I tiptoe my way downstairs. All as quickly as possible, preventing me from being noisy again and entering his (probably locked) room.
The stairs make some noise when I walk on them, but not enough to create an awakening sound. The house stays deadly quiet. I bite my lips out of nerves und pull my hair up in a bun, getting it out of the way.
My naked legs get cold and I shiver. In his shorts and shirt, I walk down the cold atmosphere his house holds. Already craving the warmth of my bed and his touch.
My fingers slide over the walls, searching for the light switch. Found, I switch it on and the paintings in the kitchen immediately greet me. The kitchen becomes visible for my eyes and I get used to the sudden bright light. Walking to the fridge, I open the thing and see no drinks, not even that much food. I roll with my eyes and let out a annoyed puff of air.
Taking a cup out one of the cabinets, I fill it with water and let the liquid slide down my throat and eagerly drinking it all up. The coldness of the water causing me to shiver but also relax. Placing it on the counter, I wipe my lips with my hands and make my way up again. Switching off all lights I hope to not walk into something.
My eyes grow wide when I hear a door close upstairs. My hands start to shake and I can not even properly explain why I feel this sudden uneasiness. Running up the stairs, I carry myself up and run quietly to my room. Biting my lips to prevent me from breathing loudly, I make my way on and close the door carefully. I lay down in bed and pull the silk sheets over my body. My eyes already flutter close and I pray he did not hear me.
°
The sun makes the kitchen seem bright in the early morning. All white walls showing off its pure color and catching the light of the sun. White clouds high up in the sky and making it all look like a painting.
From where I am seated at the dining table, I can see it all perfectly. Until my attention is on something else and the atmosphere changes massively.
Harry enteres the room, wearing all black. His long legs covered in some tight black jeans with a hole on his knee and his upperbody with scars now unvisible because of a black shirt. His stare first does not focus on me, as if he is ignoring me completely, but when I shriek because of the tea burning my tongue, he looks at me.
A frown visible on his face and his lips are pursed in a straight line. He pulls out a drink out of the fridge and I frown because I never found one last nights. He sets himself down at the dining table, facing me. Taking his phone out of his backpocket, hair falls in front of his face and I blush thinking of the moment when I put them back behind his ear yesterday.
He sighs and puts the device down on table, next to his drink. My lips part to speak up, but he suddenly stands up loudly and walks into the hallway to enter again with a vase full of red roses, all the same. I recognise them.
The vase is placed in front of my eyes and still standing, I catch his stare towering above the roses. He decides to finally acknowledge me. I frown at him and the way his stare meets mine, tells me to shut up.
"Had a nice adventure last night?"
he finally rasps out, squinting his eyes at me and deciding to sit down. He moves the roses to the left so he can see me and folds his ring clad hands together. Leaning on the table.
"Uh..yeah," I mumble, not really suprised with his question. Harry snickers and moistens his lips. "I was just getting something to drink."
I was right when I heard a door shut last night. He was indeed fully awake to notice me being up. It suprises me he did not pay me a visit or anything.
"Beautiful roses, aren't they?" His eyes almost burn holes through the flowers with his stare and I simply nod. Not quite liking his way of behaving. "Quite familiar."
I take a sip of my tea and play with a loose strand of hair fallen in front of my eyes. Unsure what to say or do, I keep quiet. I am guessing he is still upset about my question and yes, I admit I was wrong there, but his behaviour is a bit too much. He could have expected a question coming from me, he was after all the one showing them to me.
I deserve to know the answer, so I decide to bring it up again, too curious. "You never answered my question."
And again he freezes completely, his eyes avoiding my stare and looking down at his hands. The right one lets go of the drink and Harry swallows.
"You can not expect to forget them," I explain,"after all, you showed them."
His heavy breathing is the only sound in the room right now. Sitting face to face, I have the chance to observe him thoroughly. His plump and kissable lipd are spread, puffs of air escaping. Jawline clenched and green eyes cold, thinking and staring.
His fingers play with one of his many rings. I look his strong and massive hands, which remind me of yesterday. The way we were both so visible and vulnerable. How his touch left me burning, his hands starting a fire of passion. Lust in our eyes, darkening his always so green ones.
My sinful thoughts are interrupted, Harry's words echo through the room. "Those scars were made by me, I put them on my body," he finally looks at me,"when I am done with everything and I need to feel other things, I scratch them upon my body."
I gasp and my eyes widen, I shake my head violently and my eyes already start to water. "I am so sorry." My voice breaks and I do my best to hold it in.
Harry shakes his head and looks at me, piercing right through me with his intense stare. "I am crazy..
fucked up. A sinner. I am nothing." He rakes a hand through his hair and suddenly start to pull it roughly, tugging at the ends. "I don't deserve to be here! I'm a coward, a nobody!"
His hands keep tugging violently and his breathing gets heavier and more rapid. He is losing all control, but above all -- he is losing himself.
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