♧
Sadness swallows me completely when I am seated in Harry's car. The windows are opened and welcome a pleasant breeze. My hair is getting a mess, but I can not seem to care. All sorts of trees pass us and they all look happier than me.
I look over at handsome man beside me and once again fall in love with the sight of him. My eyes become teary when thinking of leaving him on his vulnerable own. I shake my head, reminding myself I will see him again; I will make his life better. No one can tear us apart.
Only we can -- which one of us is doing now. Harry's frustration is clear when I observe him. His eyesbrows are unrelaxed and the look in his eyes tells a story. His hands turn white because of the pressure on the steering wheel.
Harry is so beautiful, so mesmerising, but a mind so dangerous to all who enter it.
I fiddle with my hands in my lap, too nervous for our upcoming goodbye. But I tell myself to stay calm and just live in the moment, where I am still with him and I can still enjoy his presence.
My eyes are starting to
water when I think about what
is yet to come and I hear my
ears drumming loudly in my head.
Tears are spilling out of my
eyes and I does not take long
before Harry starts to notice
what is happening.
I try to look away
and let him believe nothing is wrong,
but he knows me all too well.
He immediately races to the side
of the busy road and pulls the brakes.
I feel my breathing getting
caught in my throat and I
try to create a regular rhythm.
My face is roughly taken
in his hands and I feel
their texture.
I am met by his eyes
and they stare at me in such
a loving and calming way
I start panicking more,
thinking about missing that look.
"Darling, breath in and out,
come on now,"
he comforts me,
his huge hands still on the sides
of my face.
Once again,
we find ourselves in a situation
where we rely on eachother.
Where he helps me and I find
comfort in his way of speaking to me
and touching me.
I can not live without him,
it will be impossible.
I will break and I know,
seperated he will too.
My chest suddenly tightens
and I feel myself losing
all control I once had.
He notices and he grabs me
even harder.
"June! Notice my breathing
and follow it. Come on, angel.
I am here,"
he kissed my forehead,
"I am by your side."
But not for long,
I think and immediately
regret it because it makes my
breaking point even worse.
I parten my lips and
try to speak up,
my lips are dry and I feel them
hurting when I stretch them.
I cough and do anything
to make me say the words
I want to let go,
but my body does not obey.
My voice is nowhere to be found.
Harry kisses my skin,
in his reach everything he
can touch is his to be touched.
His hands taking care
of me like a little porcelain doll.
