♤
Black, grey, black, grey.
Grey, black, grey and black.
Dark colors, everywhere.
No pure white surrounding
my lost and sad body.
Everything once,
so white and angelic.
Now, all black and dark.
I painted the walls,
painted the doors,
I painted the windows,
but never did I paint my heart.
It was meant to be black,
meant to be forgotten;
left in nothing but complete darkness.
I surrender.
Hope is not a thing I have.
I give up, give up my
my true love and my mind.
Madness, a fool,
crazy, psychotic and
damaged to the bone;
words and sentences to
describe me.
She left, I pushed her
to leave me.
Unharmed she went,
my lover, my sin,
my saint.
Like dawn dissapears,
she dissapeared.
With the shadows dancing
around her, creating
a masterpiece of reality,
she ran away to never come back.
I was afraid,
scared to death my
mind, oh so crazy, so mad,
would hurt and damage her.
Afraid to break her in tiny little pieces, so tiny to be hidden forever.
Glass shattering around me,
wood breaking and my body falling and colliding with objects,
is the sound of what I have been hearing the last week.
Seeing blood streaming down the tiles of my bathroom floor.
Red, red and red.
Such a warm color.
Ever since she left and
I let her, pushed her and
forced her to,
I was undefeated.
Breaking & destroying
everything around me,
not one thing will be as broken
as my heart is now.
I dream of her,
torturing myself and making
me the most saddest of all.
I touch myself and make me crave.
Feeling the lust of the thoughts of her spreading through my body like fire,
making me feel other emotions than pain.
Melancholy is being caused.
Missing, craving, losing and
wanting the person I love.
Falling deeper and deeper
every single day.
Je t'aime, pour toujours et a jamais.
There are times I sit down,
let my mind wander in the unknown and just think.
Think of the way she touched me,
spoke to me and looked at me.
Thinking she loved me.
I call it compassion and sympathy.
Because that is all one ever does,
for poor, mad Harry.
I love closing my eyes;
seeing her in front me.
I hate opening my eyes;
seeing emptiness.
Talking and whispering
to myself is what I do now.
Hoping someone reacts,
no one ever does.
I love her with all my heart,
all of what is left of my black
and poisened heart.
But without her I am nowhere.
The thoughts of missing
her the rest of my lonely
and miserable life pains me.
Close the eyes,
let your mind bring you to your deepest longings and secrets.
Let the demons in your mind dance,
dance with the image of her.
For it was her smile
that I was memerised by.
Her hair shining like
the sea at night.
Those big doe eyes full of stars.
And indecisive on what
I wanted to memerize,
I touched everything of her.
I loved everything about her.
How could I not, I constantly ask my incredibly stupid self.
She is the sun, lights that radiates of her and shines, shines so bright it
lightens everything around you and her.
So though the sound of her voice,
her laughter a remedy,
it was her touch that healed.
Her thin, slender fingers
crawling up my skin.
Longing for attention and touch.
Seducing me with just the feeling.
It was all I needed.
She had me where I wanted to be,
she had me chained and locked
like a prisoner.
But she let me go all too soon,
I let her go all too soon.
I had too.
Harry and June. June and Harry.
Physically was she gone,
but she was always here with me.
In my thoughts, dream and my heart.
Two souls,
together so beautiful,
now seperated forever.
♤
