♧
Take me out tonight,
where there is music and there are are people -- young and alive they dance, carried by air.
Take me out tonight,
because I want to see people and I want to see the bright lights. I want to actually feel the atmosphere we surround our beautiful selves in.
I never, never want to go home,
because I do not have one anymore.
He made pain sound so hauntingly beautiful, he made everything sound that way: Harry made the world appear like heaven.
I think it is important people to not feel alone, for that feeling is one of the worst. It ruins you from the inside and everything you ever felt has dissapeared, because loneliness is
the only thing you will
experience forever.
Once it is inside, it never leaves you.
It consumes me and it leaves me no choice other than to feel miserable. The world has turned black and all I see are dark shadows invading my sight.
I am completely lost without him.
I was when we first seperated, but this time it is damaging everything. The scene where he meets my eyes for the last time keeps replaying itself in my head. His bloody and beaten human body being carried away.
Loved so very deeply, we both were separated so violently. So cruel the world is, it reminds me nobody is good in the purest form. Everybody has their demons, although not everybody shows them. Or they show themselves.
Harry has a lot of them, his demons are so strong and present in his mind
-- he obeys them and they make him go insane. I finally understand the man I have adored all this time.
They took over and told me to kill him.
They took over.
They told me to kill him.
Harry his demons are those who boss him around and push his anger.
They show us his dark side and they make it worse, almost evil. The blood on his hands - Elijahs blood -
is not on his hands, it is on their hands. The voices in his head, those who speak to him.
My Harry, so lovely and soft.
So adoring and loving, it is impossible for him to kill somebody in such a
cruel way.
It has been a couple of days, maybe even weeks when I saw him for the last time and time has officially escaped me.
Nights and days have passed and all I can do is stare at sky as I used to. Seeing the moon dissapear and appear again, giving me a sign that I am still alive.
I am always seated in complete silence, the ones I adore and find comfort in. Those who swallow me and let me think, think about all that has passed and what I have been through. What I have seen and felt.
When my room gets suffocating, my feet carry me to the park. The green leaves and trees welcome me in their environment and they hush me.
There, I also sit in silence.
Beneath the shady trees, looking at the birds as they fly above me. Every now and then, I hear the buzz of the trees. The clouds roll by and the birds sing a song.
Behind the lining of the trees I see the glowing sun. And I pray. I pray and pray and pray. All for him.
As the sun goes down and leaves my puffy eyes, I see him. His beautiful lips, created by angels, smiling at me. His sparkling eyes adoring me as he always did. And his perfect manly hands carress the surface of my skin again.
Until darkness is there again to strike and he dissapears. I find myself alone again, alone with my thoughts.
Life went on and it was never the same again.
The kind of love you never forget,
was what we shared. Trying to bury it in my memories, those I cherish, I hold Harry close to my heart. Where he will never leave me.
I avoid my mother as good as possible and she does not try anymore. Accepting her own mistakes but not the ones I made (she calls them mistakes) she does not talk to me anymore. So the only bit of adventure I have during a day, is me trying to avoid her.
Also Lauren dissapeared from my life along with her boyfriend Mason. I do not understand why they are not reaching me, but I accepted it a long time ago. They can have eachother and they should know I am completely done with them, but secretly they already do.
Maybe that's why I have not seen them here, your bad.
That's basically the way I spent my life after we got separated, nothing really happened.
No news of prison, mainly just because I was not allowed to be in touch with Harry anymore. My Harry, locked up forever.
Everyday my mind was on him.
Thinking about how he must be doing now, all alone in there. Rotting away for something he did not do, or at least not with his own mind.
But this day was one to never forget.
One that would stay with me forever.
Sitting in my room, on my unmade bed that stood next to the window, I was reading a bit. One of the books I always favoured. I did not go to school anymore, I was done for the year and I wasn't ready for it.
My eyes scanned the page, reading every word it said and the author wanted to suprise us with. My eyebrows were furrowed and I was in another world, one where two lovers do get the chance to be with another. And for just a moment I imagined those were Harry and I.
It was only imagination, but that's the thing with imagination. It heals you and the things you imagine are those that keep you alive and hopeful.
As I was reading the sentences formed on the pages, the door of my room was opened. It creaked open and the sound of it made me shiver. My mother stood there, in the doorway.
Her pale skin and dead eyes staring at me and her cracked lips parted their ways. I looked at her as if she was someone unfamiliar, but that all changed when she spoke and her words got to me harder than one ever did.
My heart stopped beating and my eyes grew wide. The room was suddenly all white and that was all I saw. Everything vanished in front of my eyes and that was also being blocked, when tears escaped me and blurred my vision.
Her words kept repeating themselves over and over and over. I let out a loud cry and ran downstairs.
•//////
I am sorry that this is just a short one. I wanted it to end this way so yeah. Still need to read it over for mistakes and all because I have to go now and I wanted to update now haha. Well hope you liked it. Next one will be longer and more exciting. Vote, comment and share fot this chapter. ♡
