The Light At The Very End Of The Tunnel

Misery, My Only Company

Firas
Pain. Shock. Utter despair coursed through my soul. I was drowning in it. I dropped my gun and ran towards the blazing battle field. Every single member of my platoon lay motionless in grotesque positions. Bullets zapped all around me. Screams of terror playing inside my head. Death, blood, terror filled my vision. Deafening my senses. Still I stood static. Like a carved stone. Unable to do anything. Everything was happening in slow motion. Or my brain was slow in processing what was happening before me. I let out a gut wrenching cry....

I woke up with a scream muffled in my throat. I was shaking from head to toes. And soaked to my skin with perspiration. Running both my hands over my face, I stood up and went straight for the shower. My hands still shook as I reached for the nub to turn on the water. I stripped and got under. It was soothing to my skin. But that was where it stopped. Barely scratching the surface. Nothing felt good anymore. The memory of that night was etched on my eyelids. Never to let me rest my eyes. I long to forget what happened. But it was like a constant ulcer. I can't ignore it. A part me didn't want to forget. Because to forget meant dishonor to their memories. And I had no desire whatsoever to do that. I know my ptsd was putting a lot of strain on my family. Especially Mother. She tried all she could to pull me out of this pit of pitch blackness. But nothing could make me forget. I tried for her sake to go along with all her fussing and schemes. I never imagined though that she would go along with the last one. She brought a series of girls for me to chose from. After what felt like hours of zero accomplishment, she took it as a challenge to find me a suitable wife. I said yes. It was all so surreal. I never imagined getting married to a stranger. Let alone a seventeen year old country girl. I always imagined marrying Layla. For as long as I can remember, I've had my eyes on her. But even Layla lost her appeal. Nothing. Not even Layla felt good anymore. And I never knew the gravity of the little okay I said to mother, until I was told that the marriage contract was done. I was a married man. But I didn't need a wife. What I needed was good hours of uninterrupted sleep.
There was a soft knock on the door. Without waiting for a response, I heard the door creak open.

'Firas' Mother said tentatively

I didn't reply. She must hear the shower running.

'Firas, she's here. Please come and welcome her'
I still remained quiet

'Habiby, you agreed to this. Please... ' her voice was starting to Crack.

'Yes mother' I said with a sigh. She squealed like a little girl and hurried out. I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist. I saw a Caftan and pants laid out on the bed. Shaking my head, I took them and got ready to meet my bride.
I stood in front of the mirror and stared at the man looking back at me. My eyes looked haunted from lack of sleep. I haven't dressed up in years. The Navy blue Caftan was nice. And so in contrast with my usual camo sweat pants and white t-shirt. I even got a hair cut. Mother said I had to look like a groom. I wore my shoes at the door and walked towards the bride's quarters. Mother made me sleep at the guest chalet before their arrival.

I got to the front of the room. And only because of mother did I raise my fist and knocked twice. The door was wrenched open after a few seconds and then I was face to face with Layla. What was she doing here? She looked like she was about to spit fire. Her eyes softened when she met my gaze. The expression was so fleeting it was almost never there. I could taste the bile rising from her. She looked away and headed towards the exit. Even though I felt sorry for breaking her heart, I didn't regret for a second ending things with her. Anyone was better without me. My bride however, came into this marriage for money. She on the other hand shouldn't expect anything cordial. Least of all love. I proceeded into the room and found her sitting on the stool in front of the enormous mirror . Her back was facing me. In the mirror I could see she was crying. And what was more, she was doing something very peculiar. She had her hands cupped beneath her face...... Catching her tears as they fell in torrid down her cheeks. She obviously sensed my presence because she looked up in the mirror and caught my eyes. Something in my chest constricted.

A/N
They finally met. I hope you guys liked this chapter. If you do, please please let me know. I love hearing from you. Plus don't forget to vote! Love you!!!!!