Project 1975

/ settle down..

We arrived back at the flat, with Lilian and Matty on tow. I was still a bit in shock from the news I recieved from Paul. I never wouldve thought my father to have the same disease as mom, he was stronger and he tried to be as healthy as he could be.

I was on the verge of crying. From all these emotions Im feeling right now. I guess I was just sad for the reason that I might lose my father to the same disease that took away my mother. I was so confused why these kinds of things happen to me.

Matty's touch pulled me back to reality as we took a sitting position on my bed, the door hanging open and he looked at me sadly. "Jamie.." he calls out but my throat felt so dry, no words manage to come out. I know he's seen me crying before but I dont know why Im trying to stop myself from crying right now.

He grabbed his phone "do you want me to arrange a flight for you to America?" he says. It didnt sound like a questio, but more like an order. I knew he would be the first one to insist on me going back home. I dont even know if I had the courage to return on short notice, even if the occassion calls for it. I looked at him warily "to be honest.. I dont know if I can face any of them back home.." I finally speak out.

Matty shook his head "I can come with you, we dont have too much to do anyways this month. I can accompany you.." he pushed on. I shook my head. I know my stepmother will be there. She will probably snake her way back and rant about him and my relationship towards him. On how I stopped sending money to them and how I treated her when she came here. That was another of my dilemas.

I buried my face in the palms of my hands and this time, I didnt stop myself from crying. I let out loud sobs and I felt Matty wrap himself around me, in an awkward kneeling position om my bed. He hushed me and rubbed at my back, his touch still sending a blast of electricity throughout my body. "Jamie, I'm here for you.. everyone is. If you have decided, we can both go there.." he says to me.

His voice was low and it seemed to calm me down. I looked at him under wet eyelashes and he gave me a sad smile, and his hands automatically pushed my hair back, and wiped away my tears. The act itself made me cry again.. remembering how alone I felt before I met him.

I knew I had friends, I had Lilian to talk to and friends from the US. But nothing compares to the safe feeling when I was with my mom. She was the only person I trust back then, she was my crying shoulder and everything. But after her death, everything changed. If my dad and I were distant before, we grew worlds apart after. Then he bought along my stepmother, who was horrible. Luckily, her son wasnt like her.

Matty hugged me again "Im sorry.. baby" he hushed and I hugged him back. "no, Im sorry. this night is supposed to be fun but I ruined it" I told him and he frowned. "no.. what really matters is you. I dont want to see you like this." he said and I small smile grazed my lips. "you're such a bad ass on stage, but you're a real softie.." I said and he chuckles lightly.

*

He never left my side that night. He insisted with the excuse of "you need a cuddle and alot of kisses to make you feel better.." I cant agree more because he gives such nice cuddles. Matty was a real sweet heart.. I cant believe Im seeing this side of him.

Matty promised to behave while on my bed. Because I made it a point that, since we both arent together together, we wont do anything funny. He would occassionally kiss me behind the ears and it earns him a slap on the shoulders. Indeed, with him being here with me.. it was true that it made me feel better. His singing and his hugs made me feel more comfortable and I cant thank him more by making me feel this way..

*

The next morning, there were people in the kitchen. I recognized the voices as George and the others. I didnt find Matty beside me and like he heard me, my door opened to reveal a shirtless Matty. I gaped at him for a moment before he crashed on the bed beside me, pulling me into him. I let out a laugh and he smiled coyly.. "feeling any better?" he asks and I sighed.

"a bit.. yes." I answered simply. He nods "the boys are here to cheer you up, and we have a surprise for you.." he said as he pushed himself up the bed. I looked at him with wide eyes and he winks at me "get cleaned up and we'll talk about it" he said as he gives me a kiss on the forehead before standing up and disappears behind the door.

I shrugged and put a decent shirt, before walking to the bathroom to brush my teeth, fix my hair and wash the make up off. I marched towards the kitchen and everyone beamed at me. "what?" I asked them as I took my seat beside Matty.

"so, we got this plan for you.." George starts as he waved his waffle at me. "we know how the whole, finance problem is.." he says and I looked at Matty in shock. He knew about the problem with money and I cant believe he told them. He shrugged "we're going to play a small fund raising gig at a local music bar in Detroit. Then, all proceeds will go directly to you.. to help you and your family." Adam says cooly.

I felt goosebumps on my arm and I was again on the verge of tears. I knew they were nice, but this.. this was super duper nice. I smiled at them "seriously? wont people ask what the fund raising gig is for?" I asked and Matty shrugs again "we'll take care of that. All we want is for you to not stress out so much.. you know we're almost done with the album. We're just helping you out love.." he says and I hugged him.

--

some people have messaged me, about the boys not liking the whole fan fiction thing going on. Im not sure if any of the other people who makes fan fiction about them experience the same thing.. but anyways, I just really want to say that..

I dont really care. I know they dont hate it that people are making fan fics about them, a bit weirded out.. yea. But making these stories is the only way I could get these things inside my head out. making stories and fan fictions is my zen and my way of expressing myself.

so yea. x patty