Loves Painful Sting

Chapter 8

Sarah

The next morning I woke up with Gray's arm around my stomach holding me close to him. I laid there just staring at the wall thinking about everything. I knew Gray had feelings for me and while I had feelings for him I still had feelings for Jay at the same time. I hated that I still wanted Jay. Had the snake not called him at that moment, I would have gladly followed him anywhere as long as he kept making me feel the way I did. Just his name for me "baby girl" did things to me that no man has ever done before. With him being so distant and acting like a jerk to me I didn't even understand why I still entertained the idea of being with him. He confused me so much and I wish I could just get my head straight with what I wanted. It wasn't fair to Gray either, I didn't want to get in the middle of their friendship but here I was. I hated myself for it more and more. I knew I couldn't stay with Jay but I also couldn't stay with Gray either, I needed my own place no matter what.

I pulled away from Gray's warm embrace and climbed out of bed to get ready for the day.

"Princess come back to bed."

"Gray we need to get up and head to the studio, we both blew off our work and we very well can't do it two days in a row."

Gray pulled a pillow over his face and said something into it that I couldn't hear before he got up and started getting ready himself. While he was getting ready I made us some coffee and filled up the to go cups handing him his once he had his shoes on.

"Thank you princess." He leaned in to kiss me on my lips but I turned away earning myself a puzzled look. "What's wrong?"

"We should get going, we can talk on the way."

I put my shoes on and opened the door leading the way to the garage. Once we were in the car and on our way I took the chance to get some things off my chest.

"Gray, I know you like me and I like you too but I feel conflicted. I don't want to string you along when I'm confused about everything. I really appreciate you letting me stay with you but I still want to find my own place."

I looked down at my hands playing with the lid of my to go cup waiting for his response. I felt as if I rushed everything out and sprung it on him but I couldn't go through the day with us being on different wave lengths. I wanted him to know where we stood so there was no kind of miscommunication.

"Confused? What are you confused about? You know I really care for you and I know you care for me too. What is there to be confused about?"

I had hoped I wouldn't need to explain myself so much right away but it's better to just get it all out there in the open.

"I'm just confused about my feelings. Yeah I like you of course I do, what's there not to like." I looked up at him with a smile but then looked back down at my cup. "But there is also the feelings I have for someone else."

"For Jay."

I looked out the window watching the buildings fly by before replying.

"Yeah for Jay. As wrong as I know it is to even have them I do. I hate myself for it. For coming in between the two of you. That's why I can't continue staying with either of you. I need to find my own place and I can't just say I will be with you when I still have those feelings for him. It wouldn't be fair to you."