One More Try /FRERARD

Chapter Two: Showers and Broken People

A/N play the song at the ** I wrote it while listening to this song
I will say when a triggering part begins and ends with a ** :)

Franks P.O.V

The rest of the day consisted of me dodging people in the corridors and finding my way through the maze of a school. I've seen Gerard in all my lessons so far, well the ones he actually turns up for.

In each lesson, there is always two seats at the back; one for Gerard because he (as I've come to learn) is very unsociable and one for me because there's nowhere else to sit.

I can feel the eyes looking at me every time I walk into a classroom. I've heard the rumours about what happened to me but no one has asked me about it or even acknowledged me except Gerard.

He's different, I've only just met him but I feel something different towards him, I feel safe.

Gerard's P.O.V

I decided to skip 2nd and 4th period as both of them were boring subjects; maths and English.

As if my luck couldn't get any worse, I and frank are sat next to each other in every lesson. I can't stop watching him and I probably seem like a stalker but there's something about him that makes my heart skip a beat.

I don't understand why I feel like this I don't even know the guy, I don't even know if he's gay or not.

I slept through the last lesson and woke up to Mrs Ballato tapping my shoulder telling me to get out her classroom. I sauntered out of the room and headed towards my locker. I saw Frank just standing there looking lost and broken.

I don't know what took over me but I found myself walking over to him.

"Hi, Frank!" Frank jumped back and clutched his chest like he'd seen a ghost. I put my hand on his shoulder "are you okay?" he just stared at me with a blank expression he looked like he was in a different dimension. "FRANK! Are you okay?" he snapped out of his trance and walked away without a word.

I decided I had been nice enough today so I headed home. But I couldn't get frank of my mind...

Franks P.O.V

I left my last lesson and hurried to my locker so I missed the hallway crowds. I started to get my jumper out my locker when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

I whipped around and saw him, the man that did this to me, His piercing eyes glaring into my soul. His voice telling me it'll be over soon echoing in my head. I couldn't move or shout for help. I was trapped.

My mind felt numb but I felt like someone was pulling me back from the darkness.

Suddenly I snapped out of my trance state and saw Gerard looking at me with caring eyes asking if I was okay.

I decided I couldn't deal with explaining. I needed to get my mind off things, so I just ran home ignoring anyone who tried to talk to me.

Once I got home I opened my sock drawer and got the small box from out of it.

**trigger warning**

I slowly opened the box and took the shiny blade into my hands. I smiled an evil smile because only I knew what I was going to do with it.

I rolled up my sleeve and put a single red line on my wrist, the beads of blood rose to the surface like they were desperate for fresh air. I felt dirty.

I repeated this so many times my arm went numb and my dirty blood ran across the floor. I decided I needed to get clean so I got changed and got into the shower.

The water skimmed over my cut flesh sending shivers of pain up my body. I broke down crying. I let it all out my mum was out ...no one was home.
I thought about how my life was a literal pile of shit. I just wanted to die. I'm feeling so small and numb to the world. Life had hit me down and I didn't want to get back up, I just wanted to lie there and bleed out. Maybe I should just let it happen, everyone would be better off. The man that ra-hurt me told me I deserved it. He must've been telling the truth. He was my fa- I trusted him!

I should just bleed out. Yet my thoughts went to Gerard. He kept me hanging on to life even just for one more day-and I didn't even know him that well. God I'm such a fucking mess. I'm dirty and deserve to die. I wish everyone would just give up on me. My mum. My grandma. My therapist. Gerard. They all said they cared but I could tell it was out of pity not love. I just wish I -no I want to disappear. Who would care? Who would just give up on me? Who would cry at my funeral? Who would visit my grave? Who would question my departure and the reasons?

No one

I sat there for what felt like hours crying and shivering -as the water had now gone cold. I still felt dirty so I scrubbed my skin over and over and over until it was red raw.

**

After I had pulled myself from the shower I laid on my bed thinking of nothing. I was blank. I felt no emotion, it had all been ripped away from me. I tried to think positively about today but I could only thought of how shit my first day had been.

Except Gerard.

Gerard was the only thing that made me feel any emotion. The way his raven hair dropped over his face when he doodled his amazing cartoon stripes in class. The way his mouth hangs open just the tiniest bit when he thinks. And his tiny teeth that showed up every now and then.

I smiled to myself. He was so perfect he didn't deserve someone like me to like him. But did I like him? I couldn't possibly like him.

But maybe just maybe I was falling in love with the idea of Gerard Way.

I fell into a well needed deep sleep after that.

**dream**

"GERARD! HELP ME PLEASE!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I kept my eyes on the raven-haired boy but he just kept facing the wall. "PLEASE TURN AROUND!" as if by command Gerard turned around.

His face was pale, his lips were chapped and faded. He was dead. I collapsed on the floor crying but Gerard just laughed at me. His evil laugh slowly morphing into the voice I hear far too often. I looked at the stranger who once was Gerard.

Instead of a caring face, I was met with a stern cruel face. It was my father, I tried to run but he grabbed my neck and squeezed. I couldn't breathe. I was dying.

"Gerard help me..." I whimpered.

**

I woke up grasping at my neck. Still feeling the dangerous fist around my neck. I muffled my sobbing in my pillow so my mum wouldn't hear, she worried about me enough I didn't want her to have to deal with me like this. I fell asleep crying and dreamt of nothing. Just blackness.

Gerards P.O.V
I walked home on my own because Mikey had gone to Pete's house again. They are totally fucking.
I put my headphones in and blocked out the world with Misfits.

As I opened the door I could hear the argument that was taking place in the kitchen between my mum and her new boyfriend. I ignored them both and headed to my room.

Suddenly I felt a rough hand grab my shoulder, next thing I knew I was falling down the stairs landing on the floor with a quiet thud. My mum's new boyfriend just laughed at me. " Get up faggot! You should be more polite when you're around me" I gave him the dirtiest stare I could muster which probably wasn't the best idea.

"Fuck off Darren! Go back to your beer" I shouted back a bit too loud. Darren snapped and punched me in the face. It was not the first time he had hit me. Sometimes he would get so drunk he would beat me till I was unconscious.

I could feel my eye throbbing as I ran upstairs and locked my room. I couldn't deal with the constant nagging of the white powder I had hidden away in my drawers. Slowly, I made my way over to my draw and debated what I was going to do next. I decided one line wouldn't hurt.

Next thing I knew it was morning and I realised I had definitely done more than one line. Shit, I just want my life to stop being so shit all the time.

A/N sorry if this ones a bit rubbish. I promise Frank and Gerard will get closer soon.