One More Try /FRERARD

Chapter Three: Comics and Awkward Kissing

Gerard woke up the next day with a pounding headache and an urge to be sick. Running to the bathroom he knocked into Darren who smirked at him, pleased with the effect he had had on Gerard. Surprisingly Darren let him pass just in time before he started chucking up everything he had in his stomach - which was basically nothing as he didn't eat.

Glancing at himself in the mirror Gerard internally groaned. He looked like shit-hey at least it matched how he felt. But despite all that he found himself smiling as he pictured the new boy sitting near him in every lesson. Gerard knew he couldn't develop feelings for him.

Combing his hair and lining his eyes with eyeliner just enough to hide his growing bags. He headed to school early for some reason. Mikey looked at him worriedly, not that he would ever let Gerard know he cared about him because that's against his reputation.

Gerard wandered the barely filled halls looking for Frank. He knew he needed to ask him about what happened the day before.

He was walking past the English rooms when he saw the other boy at his locker. Without even thinking Gerard walked over to frank "hey frank are you okay?" the boy turned around and was shocked by the sudden conversation thrown at him by Gerard. "Yes, I'm fine thank you" frank gotten so used to saying 'I'm fine' that it now sounded robotic, Gerard definitely noticed.

Unsure of what to say next Gerard began to walk away, but then a thought came to his head. "I was wondering if you wanted to meet after school and go to this really cool comic store near mine... I mean you don't have to but..." he trailed off seeing the expression on franks face.

Frank didn't know what to do, no one had invited him to meet up just for the sake of wanting to be around him. It was usually because they wanted something from him or felt sorry for him. "Okay yeah..." frank blushed as Gerard looked intently at the boy. As frank looked up and met the other eyes he noticed Gerard was sending him a caring smile which instantly made him smile back. They both stood like that for a moment too long as a group of jocks walked past.

"Aww look the two gays found each other" one boy shouted which was accompanied with laughs from the rest of the group.

"Oh fuck me" Gerard mumbled in annoyance. "just fuck off Andy, I'm not gonna suck your dick!" he darted back, I knew I had won that one because he and his buddies walked away annoyed. Gerard turned back to frank who was now looking at him directly in the eyes. Frank couldn't stop looking he could only think of how beautiful Gerard looked.

Both boys headed to class together with only a few words spoken, mainly from Gerard's side. Frank just didn't want to get close to him. If just the thought of him made him feel feelings then what would actually knowing the guy do.

The thought about Gerard's sexuality went through franks head for nearly the rest of the day. 'Did the bullies really mean that he was gay?'Frank thought. Gerard on the other hand was worried about how awkward it was going to be with frank.

They had agreed to head straight to town after school as neither boy really wanted to go home. Frank and Gerard awkwardly headed to the comic store. "So... what's your favourite comic?" Gerard asked. "Erm probably batman, you?" frank spoke back confidently. "I couldn't chose but my favourites are all marvel". Both boys felt unusually comfortable around each other  and conversation flew fluently from both sides this time. 

Once they had reached the store, they both headed straight for the marvel comics. Gerard found himself looking at frank more than the comics, he noticed that when he looked down his hair fell onto his face and framed it perfectly. But it was his lips that caught him of guard, for such an innocent boy his lips spoke a different story. Frank held his bottom lip in his teeth whilst he read the batman issue he had picked up. It sent shivers down straight to his now growing boner.

He knew he had to look away or else he would have a huge problem on is hands. Frank looked up and noticed Gerard was being fidgety "are you alright there" frank questioned with a a smirk, a sudden courage had come over him as he felt safe around Gerard. "Huh... oh ye him good just a bit tired" Gerard thought that would work as a good excuse. It did. At least that's what he thought.

After a few hours the boys had looked through basically every comic in the store so they decided to head to the local park. Once they got there, they sat on the swings and a steady conversation started about life goals. Frank wanted to be in a band and Gerard wanted to become a comic writer.

Gerard found himself unusually close to Frank. He had only just met the guy and he already felt the connection. Their eyes locked together and Gerard leant in to kiss the other boy but Frank pulled away quickly but it was just enough for their lips to touch. "no...I can't... I don't want to..."Frank mumbled as he stood up and started walking the exit. Gerard was left in shock as the other boy basically ran away from him. It wasn't that Frank didn't like Gerard. He was scared that he would ruin a perfect person.

Gerard's P.O.V

Maybe he's not gay? God, I bet I've just ruined this, I bet he'll never want to speak to me again. My mind was racing with questions. I don't even know why I did it, he was just there looking all cute and I couldn't stop myself.

I decided I needed to actually leave the park before I got mugged, this is New Jersey we are on about here. I headed home going over everything that had happened. It then came to me, shit. Frank was the boy that was raped. I had seen it on the news, he had been attacked by a boy our age and an older man neither had been caught yet. It explained his strange behaviour when I touched his shoulder and him running away...twice. I knew I had to apologise for everything I had done.

I probably put this kid through hell just by being selfish. My front door came into sight and I opened it slowly, the usual argument was going on in the kitchen so I ran upstairs luckily dodging Darren. Once I reached my room I decided I needed a little something to take off the edge, I found my stash of alcohol under my bed and drowned in it until I passed out there on my floor. Covered in puke and tears.

Franks P.O.V

He kissed me. He actually kissed me. Oh god, I made him dirty, my dirty skin ruined his perfect face. It was too much too soon. I probably could've handled it better. I ran home ignoring the whole world, reaching home in a few minutes. I ran upstairs and turned on the shower. I turned the temperature all the way up.

** Self harm trigger**

I got the blade and greeted it like an old friend. Placing it on my skin gently at first, the sting edged me to do more. And more. And more. The rush of the blade on my skin made me crave the pain. Each cut got deeper and deeper. I felt my body go numb from the pain.

Once I had finished, I glanced at my arm and realised how bad it was. The blood dripping down my arm was a lot more than usual and I felt dizzy. **
Slowly getting out of the shower I felt like I was going to pass out. I ignored how I was feeling and headed back into my room. Laying on my bed I thought of what had happened between me and Gerard. It wasn't the same feeling I had felt when He put his hand on me, this felt loving and not forced. I didn't want to pull away from the kiss and that terrified me. For once I felt like I had something good but that made my mind go fuzzy and I ran. 'Maybe I did it too much this time' I thought to myself.
The next thing I knew I had passed out and was dreaming about Gerard. I'd fucked up bad...